I’m a Vegetarian.

Wow, do I feel weird saying that. Is this what Catholics feel like when they confess to their priest about lusting after their neighbor’s wife; part relieved, part hoping her husband gets hit by a car?

It’s true though; as I write this, I haven’t had meat in 11 days, 14 hours and 26 minutes. And unless I need to learn the secret handshake or get a tattoo of broccoli, I’m officially a vegetarian. Well, to be specific, I’m an Ovo-vegetarian. It means I still eat eggs. I looked it up.

The first question is why? Why would an avid meat eater turn on bacon? Why would the author of Paleo with a Purpose, a book that glorifies meat eating, flip the script? Why no more hamburgers, chicken wings or steak? Well, that’s the easy part:

1. I love animals, and I believe the way most of them are slaughtered for food is not only cruel but unnecessary.

2. I love the planet, and I believe maintaining a meat filled diet for millions if not billions of people is too stressful to maintain.

That’s it! I DO NOT believe eating meat is unhealthy or not eating meat is more healthy. I feel sorry for people that do. They’re like Christians who stand on corners shouting “God hates Fags.” They haven’t got a clue.

The second question is about health? Will my performance decline? If it does, that means one of two things; I’m doing it wrong, and I need to check my numbers and fix my macros, or being vegetarian conflicts with being badass. That’s what I’m here to find out. Coincidentally, it’s fear of losing a step, gaining a few pounds and just generally feeling like shit that’s kept me meat eating for this long.

I plan to go without meat for at least 30 days. Who knows what will happen after. I’ll journal most every day, take some pics like the ones below, and shoot videos when I feel like I need to. Either way, it should, at the very least, be entertaining and informative. So follow me on a carnivore’s journey to Becoming Vegetarian.

In The Beginning:

Bodyweight: 188 lb.
Bodyfat: 7%

Day 1

My stomach hurts.

I ate 24 eggs today. The idea is to get nearly the same amount of protein from eggs as I was getting from beef. Good thing I like eggs.

It takes a while to hard boil a dozen eggs. Even longer to eat them.Instead of firing up the grill twice a day, I boil water. I still eat two meals a day like before. Still Paleo. Still low carb.

Some people have egg allergies, but I doubt that’s me. I think my stomach hurts because my menu is so different. In fact, today is probably the first day in 20 years — aside from fasting — I didn’t have meat at least once.

Day 3

My stomach hurts less, but it feels distended — like I swallowed a football.

My Calories are pretty low. Lower than before. My menu options are drastically limited. Just how I like it. Less temptation.

Day 4

I spent an hour last night scouring the vegetarian section at Kroger. Did you know there’s something called mock meat? Sounds delicious, right?

I’m trying to plan ahead. I’m four days in, and I think I’m gonna want more than eggs for the rest of my life.

Another thing that creeps me out is just how unhealthy most vegetarians are. Most meat substitutes and vegetarian protein are primarily made from wheat and soy. I guess vegetarians don’t give a shit about being Paleo. I feel like a lot of people go vegetarian so they can justify eating cereal for every meal.

During a time of weakness, I google sardines and contemplate adding those to my menu. They’re small; they can’t possibly matter, right? Other people had the same idea as me, but they were bold enough to post it online where they were immediately sacrificed to the asparagus gods. I guess eating sardines is no different than eating cows.

Day 5

I ate Tahini today. Two tablespoons contain 19 grams of fat. Unbelievable!

Not just that, but how do you eat that shit? I mean, ground sunflowers seeds sound good, then you realize there’s no salt or texture. It’s like warm pudding you left in the sun. At least the pumpkin seeds are good.

Both are meant to up my fat and calorie content. Since I’ve been vegetarian, I’ve lost about 700 calories a day, and I can feel it. Feels like I’m bodybuilding again about to step on stage. I don’t really mind it actually — I like the feeling of discipline and progress — but that’s not the experiment.

Besides discovering how boring Tahini is, and rekindling my kindergarten love for raw pumpkin seeds, I’ve started shopping again. I feel like Indiana Jones searching every aisle for the holy grail of meatless burgers. I can honestly say I’m scared. Scared for a world with SO MANY CHOICES. So much opportunity to succeed, side by side with so much bullshit. Even I’m confused. Also, I need to eat before I shop; hungry grocery shopping is like hanging at the playboy mansion on ecstasy.

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