To be sincere, I was one of the very few lucky ones who spoke with a potential supervisor once, got accepted to be their project student almost immediately and didn’t have to change project topic. No thanks to COVID19, most of my colleagues had to change their research methodology or come up with a completely different topic or supervisor. The structure of my research didn’t really have that much of a change. So, yea, I was lucky.

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Image credit: NeONBRAND/Unsplash

This means I must have had it all figured out and had ample time to do everything I had to do, especially because our project submission deadline was extended, right? No! However, I must admit that I had enough time because I knew what my research was going to be about since November or December 2019 and the project wasn’t due to kick-off until March or April 2020. I thought I had it all figured out, but I didn’t and that’s why I’m writing this article so I can point out what might be the “wrong way”, for you to learn from some of my mistakes and avoid such pitfalls yourself . …

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This whole thing about gender inequality is built on social constructs — constructs that have been built on years and years and generations and generations of handing down what “should be”, in terms of gender roles. Not just gender roles, but the “place” of a certain gender in the society. Hence, I’m no longer surprised when I engage with learned men and women who still think we can’t achieve equality. I don’t blame them at all, I blame it on the bullshit that has been handed over to them.

I’m learning that the best thing to do is to just keep quiet with people who cannot reason. Even after explaining over and over again, because of how deeply rooted some of these social constructs about gender are, many people cannot see the sense in what feminists are saying. Again, I don’t blame. Everyone should do what works for them. A lady who has been told that she is inferior to her husband and must serve him and she doesn’t see anything wrong with that should just stick with a man who sees women like that too. Men who think women should be their servants, should not be bold, should be less ambitious and less successful, less vocal etc. should NOT go for women who are anti-everything they think. That’s the only way we can have peace. Just go for the person who shares similar values with you and similar social orientation with you. …

“No o, oko mi, sit down, your sister will clear the table” or “No o, Jide, you shouldn’t be doing that, it’s a girl’s duty” or “Jumoke! Why is your brother doing the dishes?” …


Praise Adeyemo

I enjoy writing. Veterinarian by training, with a focus on global health especially how to tackle infectious diseases from a human-animal-ecosystems interface.

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