Letters, Ranked

These are all the English letters, ranked in order from worst to best.

26. I. Boring as all hell.

25. O. Boring as all hell, but harder to write properly.

24. X. Two I’s that are hugging. Go home X.

23. C. Almost as boring as all hell.

22. L. Basically two boring I’s taped to each other.

21. T. Just like…come on man. An I with a crappy hat. Probably a snap-back.

20. Y. A bad T.

19. P. A dysfunctional O.

18. V. Basically all the letters are just sticks taped to each other.

17. U. Can easily be confused with V, hence both their crappy ratings.

16. M. M is an E. Don’t let it fool you. And a W. This alphabet is a mess.

15. F. A half-assed attempt at an E. Lowercase cursive F’s, however, are really cool.

14. E. Same as L basically, except this time there are three of them. It beats out M because it looks different lowercase.

13. H. H wants to be cool. It’s basically an L with an extra foot. It gets bonus points for looking different when lowercase.

12. R. R, similar to D, but with some flare. R went to highschool while D dropped out and went to trade school. Both still good friends.

11. W. W is one of the only letters with angles that aren’t 90 degrees — despite being a E that fell over drunk.

I think its important to note I had a Google page open with a picture of all the letters. Just so I didn’t miss any.

10. S. S is kind of a wonky letter, so it’s up higher on the list. But it’s also so overused it can’t be any higher.

9. N. N is a good letter. Enough said.

8. Z. How is Z not an N?

7. D is a god-send. Just the right amount of curve with no BS. A purveyor of efficiency.

6. G. G is actually pretty good at being a letter, tbh. Curves, straights, and even a little tail. Nice work Greeks or whatever.

5. K. K really turns up the volume about what sorts of angles are acceptable in a letter. TWO 45-degree angles in the middle of the letter? Get out of town.

4. Q. Q is just a baller letter all around. Never gets used and still hangs around just for kicks. This boy is the real life of the party.

3. J. J is just the kind of letter you want to lounge inside of while reading a book or whatever. Looks comfy as hell.

2. A. I started half of these sentences with A, so he must be doing something right.

  1. B. B is the greatest letter in the English alphabet, as you can see by the number ‘1’ on the left. Its subtle curves, the way your lips pop when you pronounce it, its smaller brother ‘b’… All so perfect. B truly is the best letter.

Thanks for reading. I don’t want your thoughts because I won’t agree with them. I spent hours on this.

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