Why are engineers so weird?

A friend’s honest question triggered some introspection

We were coming back home at 5 AM after partying in the city and the honest conversations began to flow (I’ve always believed that dancing is one the most natural ways of socializing, but more on that later).
One of the questions, or rather comment which really got me was,

“My ex was an engineer, would always joke about pistons and shafts, why are engineers so weird?”

To which I did not have an answer, so I replied “I am an engineer too!” in a tone similar to “Well, I am half-black”, or “I am Jewish”, or “Only an engineer can call another engineer weird!”

Awkward laughs broke out, but a question was planted in my head — “Why are engineers so weird?”

And, nothing is worse than a question in a curious person’s head.

So here is my shameless attempt to answer the divine question. I came up with a theory, I drew a diagram and all!!

While there are multiple theories of personality types and human relationships like MBTI, Enneagrams, The Big Five, and FIRO-B none of them clearly and simply explains “Why are engineers so weird?”

So as indicated above I came up with my own theory, essentially I feel every person can be assessed for two very things

1. What kind of impact they are seeking through their action/inaction — Internal or External
2. What is their preferred mechanism of acting — through people or through objects

Note — While a conversation would be an example of acting through people. A poem/book is an example of acting through an object.

Based on the simple assessment, you will find people falling all over the spectrum but essentially into one of the 4 categories i.e.

1. Socials,
2. Artists,
3. Engineers, and
4. Leaders

Being Social is the default for most of humanity like other mammals in the wild, however some individuals have different natural inclinations and find themselves in other boxes.

Culture, and education also push us in one or the other direction as we grow older. We also switch modes and the plasticity of human brain allows most of us to wear multiple hats fairly capably — Some individuals are remarkable at this!

Most people you will meet will be wearing their social hats and seeking internal emotional impacts through their interactions with other people. However Engineers can begin to act strangely in social situations and some of them might delve into

1. Demoing the latest app/financial instruments they are developing
2. Talking about a new technology and how it will change the world
3. Joking (playing with words) about technology in order to mentally exercise their brains

While these are great and productive tools for seeking external impact, they can tend to make the Socials or those wearing their Social hats very uncomfortable, and hence Engineers seem weird.

Some of you will notice that I mentioned financial instruments — The reason for that is most finance guys even if they hate to admit it are “Engineers” at heart and by training as they too “seek external impact through the use of objects”
Leaders, and Artists too suffer from a similar fate in social situations e.g.

1. Talking about political issues in a Social situations might be considered rude as the Leader is not appeasing the person/group being talked to but rather seeking an external impact
2. Complimenting somebody’s “beautiful” clothes can make them feel the Artist is more interested in their clothes than in them

These are both however forgivable crimes, useful social tactics in when the situation demands the individual to Identify themselves.
The actions of an Engineer are completely antagonistic to the wishes of the Social, hence the mutual “weirdness” i.e. Engineers find Social people weird for the same reason — The actions of the Socials are completely antagonistic to the wishes of the Engineers
A similar “weirdness” exists between the Artists & the Leaders
But for a successful society we need all 4 archetypes in harmony so my message to you all is on the lines of the famous live, and let live motto —

“Be Weird, and Let Others Be Weird”