The Politics Of Home And Hearth
A Facebook friend recently posted this article about how she is not a feminist, and that that is ok. This was not the first time I witnessed a woman make an apologetic proposition in the binary intellectualism of religion vs. feminism. But here is the incongruity in her logic — She made the choice to not let certain media imposed constructs define her womanhood. She has chosen to live her life on her own terms, inspired by people she truly wants to emulate, without any pressure from anyone, not even her femme idols! This is not the first time during my time in Longview that I have come across this bias against feminism. It is quite literally considered Satanic. I have heard all kinds of biblical and social justifications against feminism! Some of the accusations include —
“Feminists like abortion! Abortion is murder! So feminists are murderers. Specifically fetus murderers”
“Feminists don’t do dishes”
“God made man and woman equal, so feminism is against equality”
You get the picture.
What the author of this article and a lot of women who agree with the author don’t realize is that submissive choices like staying home, dropping out of school to take care of your family, picking up after brothers and husbands, being a stay at home mom right out of college and other such traditional gender constructs are not against feminism in and of the act itself. What eludes my dearies against the so called devilish notion of feminism is that the retention of individualism and choice helps dismantles these externally imposed roles that cause power and privilege to accumulate with a superficially determined superior sex, and is hence the essence of feminism. Choosing to stay at home with the kids and taking a break, however long said break may be, without any pressure from families, partners, organizations, and institutions is just as much an act of feminism as using birth control and contraceptives to prevent pregnancy. Believing in traditional religious values is not defiant of feminism if the woman chose her religion and the level of involvement and commitment to the religion.
I understand that too often feminists are portrayed as “angry fat chicks” who “have not found Jesus” and/or are lesbians who stand against typical feminine roles that limit a woman to the home and hearth. It is so untrue, and every single day I come across at least one girl who has severe reservations against any political expression that will upset the idyllic idea of man and wife and the life that comes with a cis, heterosexual marriage that is worthy of a Campbell’s or Heinz ad from the 1950’s. I do partially understand their hesitation and bias. Sometimes feminist agendas get blown into male bashing campaigns, and how that is received by an unaware demographic at the end of a lengthy and extensive trial by media is that there is a group of excessively liberal women whose lack of conservatism is the reason they are “troubled”, lesbian, raped, or some other strange bothersome result. Let’s not even get into the idea of dating culture promoting the occurrence of rape and victim shaming, it’s a whole other bias that I can’t even grapple with in one go, especially in my little town in the boondocks of East Texas. The idea that feminism is anti male is unwaveringly entrenched in the minds of so many women, and it has been onerous to challenge it. There are so many politicized assumptions and rationales that create the foundation for such an opinion that I will be here forever trying to shift even one person’s mindset.
The author concludes her article saying she “does not want the power men are assumed to have.” Honey, honey, honey, where do I even begin?! This sounds like a very defensive argument that also partially recognizes the power concentration that her antitheses are protesting. Men do have power. That does not make each and every male figure in your life evil necessarily. It points to a larger sociological barrier that has prevented women from choosing what to do with their own time and their own bodies. She recognizes, within the scope of her religious sentiments, that women’s physical constitution prevents them from typically matching men in labor-intensive acts, but she also mentions that women should feel capable and independent and not rely on a romantic partner for validation of any kind. I hope the irony is not lost on you!
I may not get every woman around me to understand feminism sans the sensationalist and baseless political bias; but what I will settle for as a seemingly lone warrior just at the end of today is creating the awareness that feminism conceptually is neither against leaving work to have kids, nor against choosing not to have kids to pursue a career. Feminism is not against religion or men or families. Because of a few disproportionately publicized opinions, feminists are equated with misandrists. And while everyone is free to have their opinion and make their own choices, refusing to talk about pre-conceived notions of gender and gender roles, sexuality, and politicized family planning decisions is against the foundation of feminism. Gender equity will be achieved through a keen and intentional focus on allowing women to unfetter themselves from externally established ideas; and this has been extremely, extremely hard to communicate in 4 months of being here! But I don’t plan on stopping anyway.
P.S. I don’t claim that this article is representative of all up-to-date feminist movements or accurate in identifying the latest concepts, ideas, keywords, etc. But I would love to know more. So if you have any literature or people I should be following more closely, please redirect me!
P.P.S. Some of the attributed quotes and concepts expressed here are actual arguments I have encountered. This is not my bias speaking.
