Daniel Boyle, this name alone sends chills down the back of any man between the ages of 4–67. Daniel Boyle has embarked on many a fantasy, however the most significant was his adventure to penetrate… You.

It was a dark monday night, you were alone in your bed thinking of Daniel Boyle and his sweet curves. His touch is more exhilarating than any drug known to mankind. You try to resist but the urge is too strong, you pull out your laptop, and you are shocked!

You are already on instagram.com/XxDANIEL_BOYLExX. You feel an urge under your belt, oh no! You missed your alarm, your phone was buzzing. Then you hear the sound of your door creaking, by cracky! it’s Daniel Boyle! “Oh darling, I have come to penetrate you!” says Daniel Boyle, you try to respond but his huge biceps distract you. “Thou penetration whilst be so strong, your eggs will be scrambled!”

“Oh Daniel Boyle! thou are so majestic! thy hair gleams in the sunshine! Take me, and fulfill thou wildest dreams on me!!” Daniel Boyle wasted no time, “thou arest a man of efficiency! Oh my heavens thou are amazing!”

***

You lie there, in a puddle of thy own sweat. Your mind can’t help but remember your experience with the jackal, Daniel Boyle. You smile whilst you spew substance at the rate of a firehose. What happened that night wasn’t what you wanted, or expected, but it was something that you secretly desired.

Thy fire hose

So what happened that night?

The first thing I remember him saying is “Oh darling, I have come to penetrate you!” I thought that we were going to engage in the hanky panky dancing but I was mistaken. By penetration Daniel Boyle wasn’t referring to penetrating me, he was referring to penetrating my personal space. We just stood near each other for 2 hours. The second phase was initiated when he said “Thou penetration whilst be so strong, your eggs will be scrambled!” This phrase got me very excited however I was going to be surprised yet again. Daniel Boyle “Penetrated” your fridge and grabbed the eggs…. then he made some scrambled eggs.

“Thou have been an excellent partner in the hanky panky” said Daniel Boyle while he left the vicinity of my house. I made a poem to commemorate Daniel Boyle:

When Boyle was and a little boy. With hey! ho! with his dong in the rain

For it was but a toy, For the rain hit it everyday

Daniel Boyle as majestic as a dove, for he will screw you sideways because he does love

He has gonads as big as the moon, and if you are cold he will come and spoon

If you are awestruck by Daniels beauty, he will fist you , in your booty

If Boyle be the food of love, stroke on. Give me excess of it, that suffocating.

Oh dong of boyle, how quick and fresh art thou. Good Boyle! Oh please, let me see your dong. Oh my!! excellently done, if god did all.

To Boyle and haste, give thou this dong. My love can give no place, and bid no delay

Cries, aha! to his dong, like an angry kitten. Pare thy dong hair, Boyle!

This poem captures the essence of my love for Boyle. Just know, that if thou are lucky enough to grabeth the attention of Sir Daniel Boyle, thou penetration shall be swift.