How to Calm the Mind
For Meditation, Peace, and Creativity
Anxieties and an agitated mind
Each of us have a different world around us consisting of people, things, activities, possessions, relationships, dreams, aspirations, and so on. This world, ‘we think’, is the source of our happiness, and the world does sometimes contribute to the joys in our life. But there are many occasions when we discover that the cause of agitations in our mind is also this very world around us.
When we worry about something, we reinforce the idea about the object of our worry and the clinging to that becomes stronger. By repeatedly thinking about it, we are strengthening the attachment to the worries. So, it almost seems like ‘we like to worry’ or ‘we are attached to the worrying’.
Krishna said this to Arjuna, in the battlefield: “by constantly thinking (or brooding) over the objects (people, things, events, etc.), attachment to them grows — whether it is a desire or aversion. And by constantly engaging in this, we are strengthening the attachment.” (Bhagavad Gita 2.62)
It is a perpetual cycle — thinking about an object, attachment to that object increases; and as attachment increases, we think more about that object. This never stops. This leads to agitations in the mind.
We want to be free from agitations
At some point in time in our lives, overwhelmed by the agitations of the mind, we feel that we should seek freedom from these agitations. We thus aspire for a calm mind, a tranquil mind.
We think we can have a calm mind, if we change the external circumstances around us — things, people, activities, and so on. However, changing the world around us does not bestow a calm mind. In fact, any attempt at changing anything around us often adds to the agitation in the mind.
We also try to remain calm by avoiding unpleasant situations, avoiding people who we dislike, etc. But we soon realize that ‘avoidance’ does not help to attain freedom from agitation.
Where then lies the answer? The answer to this question is the subject of this article.
A way to calm the mind
While there are many ways to analyse the problem of agitations in the mind, and consequently find calmness, here is one simple approach suggested in this beautiful aphoristic statement from the text Yoga Sutras by Sage Patanjali:
The attitude of
Friendliness towards the Happy,
Compassion towards the Unhappy,
Delight towards the Good, and
Being Unbiased towards the Bad
leads to
calmness in the mind.
Note: For the entire aphorism (in Sanskrit) and its meaning see the last section in this article.
Some important points
The above statement refers to friendliness, compassion, delight, and unattached-ness. Here, they are referred to as bhāvanā (in Sanskrit). This word cannot be easily translated into English. Often it gets translated as mindset, sentiment, feeling, temperament, etc.
The word bhāvanā is derived from the word bhū which means ‘to be’, ‘to become’. So, when we use the word friendliness or compassion, it is not just a transactional or operational word used in the context of just one interaction. It is ‘being’ or ‘becoming’ friendly or compassionate from the very core of our being. It is a complete ‘becoming’ or an inner transformation.
For convenience, let’s use the term ‘mindset’ for bhāvanā. However, interpret the word mindset to mean what has been described above.
Let us now discuss each of the four mindsets discussed in this aphorism.
1. Mindset of friendliness towards the happy
maitrī towards sukha
First of these four is the mindset of friendliness towards the ones (the people) who are happy.
You may wonder: Isn’t this our natural approach? Don’t we always feel friendly towards those who are happy? Think again!
When we think of or meet someone who is happy, there is a tendency to feel envy or jealousy thinking of their success or source of happiness. In other words, we are saddened by the lack of that object which is the cause of the other person’s happiness. This lack becomes a source of agitation or disturbance in our mind.
The agitation in our mind may be in the form of desire for the object (that is the source of happiness of the other), envy towards the person, resentment, etc.
Sage Patanjali says that we should have maitrī bhāvanā (develop or cultivate friendliness) towards the person who is happy — rejoice in the other person’s happiness; feel happy from the core of other heart for the other person. This will ensure that there is no agitation in the mind on account of the other person’s happiness.
The mindset of maitrī towards sukha (friendliness towards the happy) ensures that we do not sow the seeds of agitation or disturbance thinking of or meeting someone who is happy.
2. Mindset of compassion towards the unhappy
karuṇā towards duhkha
When we come across someone who is unhappy or distressed:
- We may feel grief or sorrow ourselves and soon that grows into misery
- We may feel that so and so is responsible for the unhappiness of the person, and development dislike towards that person
- We may criticise the person who is unhappy for their mistakes that brought him/her the unhappiness
- We may get drowned in negativity seeing such situations repeatedly
- We may feel unhappy owing to the inability to relieve the other person of the sorrow
- We may experience anger as a result of the helplessness we feel in the situation
One or more of the above becomes a source of agitation in our mind, robbing us of peace and calmness.
Sage Patanjali suggests that we cultivate a mindset of compassion towards the one who is unhappy. Note that, when the Sage says compassion, it means at the exclusion of other feelings. It is compassion that calms our mind in this given situation.
In fact, scriptures constantly stress on compassion and friendliness towards all beings.
3. Mindset of delight towards the good
muditā towards puṇya
When we come across someone who is good or virtuous:
- We may feel jealous of the good qualities of the other
- We may feel pain or irritation thinking of the absence of those qualities in ourselves
- We may feel jealous of the virtues present and try to look for and point out the negative qualities of the other
One or more of the above becomes a source of agitation in our mind, robbing us of peace and calmness.
In this aphoristic statement, Sage Patanjali stresses on the importance of cultivating and sustaining a mindset of delighting in the virtues of the good and noble. Delighting in the good qualities of the other person also triggers the way for inculcating those qualities in oneself.
In many of the hymns of praise, we are often singing the praise of the virtues of a deity. For example, in Hanuman Chālisa, we extol the virtues of Hanuman. Constant meditation on the virtues makes it easier for us to inculcate new qualities in our own personality.
4. Mindset of non-attachment towards the bad
upekṣā towards apuṇya
When we come across someone who is bad, sinful, evil, wicked:
- We may feel dislike, hatred, resentment, anger, etc. towards that person
- We may feel fear, feeling threatened that we may come to some harm
- We may feel a sense of ego, thinking “I am good”, seeing the “bad” in the other
- We may feel a sense of moral superiority
- We may become judgmental about people around us
One or more of the above becomes a source of agitation in our mind, preventing us from having a calm mind.
By brooding over these thoughts regarding the ‘bad’ we get sucked into negative thoughts, that leads to attachment to these ideas, thus resulting in an agitated mind. These eventually distracts us from our spiritual goal of peace and freedom. (Ref. Bhagavad Gita 2.62–63)
In this aphoristic statement, Sage Patanjali stresses on the importance of cultivating and sustaining a mindset of non-attachment towards evil, bad, vice, etc. By this, we are able to remain a mere witness without being agitated ourselves.
Application of this aphorism
Constant Practise
The text Ashtāvakra Samhita says, “as one thinks, so one becomes.” The same idea is conveyed by Sage Vidyāranya thus (in Panchadashi 11.113): “The mind is indeed the world. It should be purified (made placid, tranquil) through constant practise. It is an eternal truth that the mind takes the form of the objects to which it is applied.”
By repeatedly thinking of the objects of the world and dwelling on negative thoughts, the mind tends to become agitated, filled with negative energies.
Let us constantly remind ourselves of this aphorism and repeatedly introspect over it, and thus strive to make this a constant mindset.
Pre-requisite to meditation
People often complain that ‘just when I sit down to meditate, all the negative thoughts and agitations spring to the front.’ This is primarily because, the underlying agitation is constantly there.
Using this approach suggested in the aphorism, one can remove all the negative thoughts and agitations, to render the mind pure and tranquil. Once the mind becomes calm, pure, it is now ready for one-pointed focus towards the spiritual goal. It is the calm mind that is ready and prepared for the practice of meditation, and not the disturbed or agitated mind.
Only a calm mind can be creative
Remember, a calm or a tranquil mind is a creative mind. It is this calm mind that is able to function effectively in the world. It is only a mind that is at peace that can bestow peace to the others around.
In Conclusion
This is what Krishna said to Arjuna (in Bhagavad Gita 2.64–65):
“The one whose mind is in control, attains tranquillity of the mind. In that tranquillity of the mind, all sorrows are destroyed.”
Instead of attempting to change the world around us, we just change our mindset towards world and its objects (people, things, events, etc.). This is beautifully encapsulated in the following (Yogavāsiṣṭha 5.21.14):
“To the one who is wearing soft leather slippers, it feels as if carpet has been spread over the entire earth for one to walk on. In the same manner, when the mind is content and full, the entire world appears beautiful.”
Sage Patanjali’s aphorism and its meaning
(Ref: Yoga Sutras 1.33)
मैत्री-करुणा-मुदितोपेक्षाणां
सुखदु:ख-पुण्यापुण्य-विषयाणां
भावनातः चित्त-प्रसादनम् ।
maitrī-karuṇā-muditopekṣāṇāṃ
sukha-duhkha-puṇyāpuṇya-viṣayāṇāṃ
bhāvanātaḥ citta-prasādanam.
Meaning of the words
- मैत्री (maitrī) — friendliness, benevolence, good will
- करुणा (karuṇā) — compassion
- मुदिता (muditā) — delight, rejoicing, gladness
- उपेक्षा (upekṣā) — unattached-ness, unbiased
- सुख (sukha) — happiness, pleasant, agreeable
- दु:ख (duhkha) — sorrow, difficulty, unhappiness, unpleasant
- पुण्य (puṇya) — good, right, virtue, auspicious
- अपुण्य (apuṇya) — wicked, impure, vice
- विषयाणाम् (viṣayāṇāṃ) — of the spheres of influence or activity
- भावनातः (bhāvanātaḥ) — by becoming, by being
- चित्तप्रसादनम् (cittaprasādanam) — calmness of the mind
Meaning of the Aphorism
The attitude of friendliness towards the happy, compassion towards the unhappy, delight towards the good, and being unbiased towards the bad leads to a calm mind.
