Feeling stuck in a loop?

Addressing your ignored thought process

We face some small things that disturb us. It may be a small thought or a word. Due to which our work might not go good or our relationship may have a small hindrance. We get a bad feeling and you question everything about your career, relationship, health, and your life.

You do everything to resist the situation by trying to fix it. You are feeling compelled to address the trigger or disturbance which caused it. But here is the main point, You don’t address the disturbance.

This frustrates you even more and you are attracting more negative thoughts. What started as a small disturbance becomes a huge life problem.

Even though you have many positives to feel proud for you feel bad for all your negatives and feel wasted in your life. You feel demotivated to work and feel very low on confidence. You feel like quitting your relationship or career and getting sucked in your life.

That is the negative thought loop. I have experienced this often and I am sure even you would have. Why do we experience it?

Filling the emptiness

Life is always a mix of random events and we cannot expect everything to go as we have planned or expected. That’s the nature of life but we come to a negative thought loop when something doesn’t happen as you have expected or when something comes to an end.

Yes, everything comes to an end in our life. Be it friendship, relationship, career, job and so on. Before the end, we would have spent so much time and energy to sustain it. When it comes to an end we would be left with an emptiness.

We tend to fix that emptiness by filling it with something. If a relationship ends we tend to fix it by concentrating more time on our career. Yes..!! you have spent so much time and energy on that particular relationship and it becomes completely free when it ends. As you don’t want to feel alone and keep yourself occupied you tend to wok more.

But that’s an escape reality. If you lose your job, you can’t simply replace working by spending more time with your spouse and many of us follow this pattern. We fail at our work or lose our job and we escape the reality and tell ourselves that “at least now I can spend more time with my family”

Everything Has Its Place

You cant fill the emptiness in work by hitting the gym. You cant fill the emptiness in relationship with alcohol. You cant fill the emptiness in health by watching a movie.

Yes, it is always tempting to escape reality. But you have to catch yourself at that moment. One of the hardest things to do in life. We need to look inward we cant live our lives in denial.

I struggle a lot when something in my life ends and it is always tempting to find a replacement but everything has its place.

We cannot replace our girlfriend or boyfriend with our friends. We cannot replace work with exercising more. We have to allocate the right amount of time and energy to all the aspects of life.

To live a complete life an animal needs only food and sex but for a highly evolved social animal-like human, there are some more basic needs. Thousands of years of evolution has shown us that we have some similar needs like safety, support, perspective, joy and something useful to do with our time.

As humans, we would encounter some bad thought processes in our minds or it may be induced to us from the external environment. That particular bad thought will hinder you from pursuing that particular human need. We cannot proceed further without rectifying the bad thought and we tend to fall in a vicious loop of thoughts.

Breaking the loop

You need not look at the other parts of life or life in general and not even the current situation look at the nature of life-Its about motion.

When you are stuck in a negative loop you have only two options,

Be in the loop and let it destroy you or you destroy the loop and move on

Decide between the two options and the choice is that simple..!!

To destroy the loop, find that particular disturbance which bought you to the negative loop. But we live a life in denial, we fear the negative emotions while thinking about the disturbances. Instead, accept the situation and talk to yourself or a friend whom you trust more and flush out that negative emotion that you have been in denial to accept.

We face the fear of coming out of the loop and starting again. For example if you have a negative thought process about your current job. Whether to continue the job or to start a new career. But we fear to start from scratch and live in denial. Either the existing job itself may be good and you are living in a negative loop of thoughts. This may be due to the toughness of the job and you have a fear of starting full-heartedly in the same office Or the job doesn't suit you and you have the fear of starting a new job. It can only be removed by facing it. It cannot vanish in denial, you don’t have anything to lose after all its a very short single life.

Its always zero or one..! You either go for it or shout out with a strong no. Life is always in embracing the motion. Yeah, it’s tough, but only you can take responsibility for the situation. Face the fear and start taking action to kick out the fear..!! Let it go..!!