When a Pre-Schooler rants!
The oven beeps, there is the sound of the washing machine, the blender and then goes mom’s favorite playlist in her mobile. The mom thinks she wakes up early and gives me time to sleep until she prepares breakfast but reality is, once she is out of the bed, the endless noise of these appliances never let you sleep. Why can’t you allow a three a year old to sleep until it’s time to go to school???
It is wake-up time, here come the cuddles. The mom has read from these ‘know-it-all’ parenting sites that the kid must be cuddled before he/she wakes up for the day. How do I tell her that I hate those morning cuddles? It is okay if she cuddles, I mean soft cuddles. What she does scares me that I feel she is about to eat me up. Mom, I know you love me but stop sniffing and biting me. Then starts the Pee and Poo drama. I would pee and poo whenever I need to, after-all you are going to give up for the day and ask me to tell the nanny when I need to pee or poo. So why do you do it every day?? Well Yeah, you need to boast to your mommy friends that you have a 100 percent success rate in potty training.
After you drop me off at school, why don’t you just drive back home or to the grocery store?? Why do you stand at the corner of the street and chat with other mom-friends?? And that is why you come half hour early to pick me up and take me home one hour late after school. Why do you discuss about my homework?? I am a kindergartner, all the homework I bring is lines, horizontal lines, slant lines and may be a few alphabets and numbers, it isn’t a huge B school project to discuss.
Mom and dad, haven’t you fallen sick all these years of your life??? Then why do you google if I have SARS when it’s just a flu. I don’t like it when you take pictures of the rashes in my uncommon areas and I just hate it when you post it on your Facebook support groups. Cropping off my face does not work, everyone in the group knows that it is me!!!
Scrambled, boiled, bulls eye or poached. Yes, you say that you provide variety food but it’s just an egg, an egg every day. Please do not tell your peers that you cheer us with fun food. All you do is drawing a smiley on an omelette (again egg!) with ketchup or squeezing out scary forms of cartoons over a pancake with syrup or whipped cream.
When it is bedtime, I get wrapped up with blankets when mom and dad feel cold and I just have to wear pajamas when they feel it isn’t that cold. You say that you people take me out on weekends. Yeah! But that’s your outing, how do you think I enjoy the movie of your favorite hero? How do you think I like roaming aimlessly in the mall? Don’t you realize that’s the reason I cry my eyes out at movies and at malls? Take me to the play area, a park or a bounce house or just simply give me my iPad and I will behave like the best kid in the world.
Just wait for the time I start talking without the uhhhs and mmmms.
I would convey my opinion about those cuddles and stop you from eating me up.
I would just ask you to rush home after dropping me off at school with just an “eye-roll”.
I would stop you from advising me with just a ‘teenager grunt’
I would demand a bed of my own or even a room and ask you to knock before you come in.
I will grow up, dear mom and dad. Yes! I will. I will soar high up in the sky just because i know you are there to hold me before I hit the ground.
I will always love you and I promise that I will always be your little Baby munchkin forever.