Great, introspective writing, PMD.
I’ve been through this phase myself. While I can’t say I’m completely sorted, I think I have put some of these issues behind me. A couple of things helped me get over this type of comparative anxiety.
- In media and stuff online, you never see the whole picture. The girl who writes awesomely about processes might be struggling to write and understand code, the guy who is a swashbuckling CEO might be dealing with massive relationship issues, etc. The point is, stuff online is a thin slice of life. We extrapolate that to conjure superheroes when the fact is that almost every one is human.
- I’ve started being a lot more mindful of my emotional response to stuff like this. I try to force myself to categorize things into useful or not. Finally, all that you really have power over is yourself and your actions. Choose to take stuff that helps you improve. Let go of everything that pulls you down. Don’t waste time feeling sad, cause that is just self-indulgent. Work, improve yourself.
- Finally, you have to accept yourself. Warts and all. Everyone has them. Just that they don’t make for good reading, hence almost no one talks about them.
And yes, meditation helps :)