Pratik Behera
Aug 22, 2017 · 4 min read

Celebrating Lights, But Moreover Eulogizing Darkness !

“The below writing is one of favourites, & perhaps for the same reason it’s one of the most viewed article on my wordpress’s website as well; but it’s just a part of the story. The reason it ranks so high for me is when i wrote this, it was within that moment, whatever i was going through at that point of time. Simply because of its honesty.”

It would be about 3 years back, when i actually wrote it. It was diwali, the sun was setting down; but our Indian cities were decking themselves up for a show of lights. In fact to celebrate the “The Festival Of Lights”. Even my own house was being readied, people being all joyful. But there i was, not willing to celebrate. Reasons unknown to me ! My parents also found it to be weird; their naughty child is sitting idle, not being involved. They knew it, but parents you know how they are, can’t see their offspring sad.

Then i wondered what’s, the hindrance, obviously it was about her; but why now ? By that time she had already left for a new city, to pursue her dreams, to live life, to be the girl who she is from within. Every thing was done & dusted since long ! So why suddenly ? I questioned myself aren’t you happy that she is happy ? Then the answer came & i penned it down…


Dated: 23rdofoct14

Before you, my girl; my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light & reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.

Then when you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing changed, but my eyes were blinded by the strike. See, today & tomorrow; is the festival of lights. Everyone is happy, everything is fancy. Cracker shops lined up, individuals greeting each other. The streets, both the new and the old dilapidated lanes; are more brightly coloured & very much radiant. But for me lights are fools, they think; they travel faster than anything. For me it’s wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds that; the darkness has always got there first & is waiting for it 🙂

This mad rush, is since few days; i mean 3 to 4 days. Bringing my mind, back to our days. It seems, just like yesterday. It was the same festival. We were on the phone, where you were decorating your dwelling & i was admiring as a mad lover does; even if i wasn’t present there physically. Ah ! That was some “Love”. But in reality, it’s four years, eleven months and sixty seven days; to be precise!

Since the mad rush started, wall to wall; everything is lighted. Making me really wonder, how these lights, these candles, these rangolis & these orthodox oil lamps; made of clay, with a cotton wick dipped in; can both defy and define the darkness. But this is like a, full blown attack on my understanding; that why i am still surrounded by the same darkness ? Is it you, who gave me a box full of darkness & it took year’s for me, to understand; that too was a gift 🙂

Or perhaps i am casting my own shadow ! *Perplexed I Am* To say literally i can’t see those stars anymore, i just can’t see the light within me. There is just no reason; for anything !

If you ponder upon Defying Lights & Defining Darkness : God’s every child of India, are high in the essence of the festive mood and. some might not be; but god’s this child, is busy reminiscing our ragged places. Waiting for her to walk through the door, someday. Waiting for her to light up my phone, someday!

So this life chose, god’s this child; but the best part is that life never stops. It’s adamant.

*End*

Post-Script : This night doesn’t stop here, as i said it’s just a part of the whole story ! Believe me that night was a tough & long one. And I have written a hell like that night, cause writing is the best way of expression! Sad that, owing to the demands of current life i am unable to put in my time in, but i also don’t lose to any opportunity where i can pour my words! Even because writing doesn’t happen over night, for that you need to go through that, in order to pen it down!

)
Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade