The essence of women friendship
Friendship between women, as any woman will tell you, are built of a thousand small kindnesses, swapped back and forth and over again. — Michelle Obama
Unlike many people, I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S much later, probably when I was 25 or 26 years old and what I admired the most in the show was the friendship between the main women characters — Monica, Rachael and Phoebe. The greater joy was to know that my three best friends are no less than Monica, Rachael and Phoebe. Even we have been easing each other’s lives for almost a decade now.
I still wonder that out of everyone else, how on earth, did we four, very distinct people, ended up being an extended family and created our little make-believe home together. A home where we preserve our different emotional elements creating a balanced space to laugh, cry, fight, love, accuse, adapt and eventually evolve. None of us are prefect, we are very accurately flawed for each other, yet we share a deep secure connection. Looking back, I reflected on some of the bits and pieces that is holding this women friendship and keeping it so pure and rich.
Comprehensive Communication
During college, the after-dinner-chit-chat sessions use to be a thing for us that, on most occasions, would last till early morning. Restraining ourselves from doing so during exams was a challenge. Now, in our long-distance friendship, nothing has changed much. We still spend hours on our group calls. Few days back, my brother asked me what do you girls talk about for hours every other day. Well, the conversation varies from being very profound to superficial to unvaried at times. From shopping suggestions to career suggestions, from skincare advices to relationship/marriage advices, from sex life to our gender discovery/identity, from movies and shows to our family drama, from starting a business together to hunting for a sugar daddy, we talk about everything under the sun.
Uplifting our Girl Gang
Even if no one else told us, we always hoisted our friendship. To the world, we are just four friends, but to us we are the BEST girl gang, to us our friendship is exceptionally remarkable. “Girls, we are the best” is our usual compliment to each other. We don’t believe in grand shows. In these ten years, not even once have we celebrated our respective birthdays with a splendid gesture. But on some very random days, we sing songs to each other, send flowers, write letters, praise our friendship in front of others, pray for each other and most importantly, read emotions to understand what needs to be done and then act on it.
Bitching About Each Other
YES. As toxic as it may sound, I am kind of proud of this trait. The only catch here is that our audience for this drama is just us. So it is either 3 vs 1, 2 vs 2, or 1 vs 1; but it is never 4 vs 1. The option of letting a fifth person to know our flaws is out of the window. And there is no biasness here, we believe in equal opportunities. Knowing that you too have once been a target makes us much more reliable on each other. The acceptance of our flaws and acknowledging that there will not be any more surprises, gives meaning to our friendship.
Today I am too proud of this friendship and want to treasure it for as long as possible. It is an endless loop where we might go up and down, but there is no exit to it. ❤
