What’s the purpose?

I think we ask this question much less frequently then we ought . Why exactly are we doing whatever we are doing? What’s the purpose? I know how scary it is to even realize this that we do not really know the answer.

I did Masters in Science from a fancy college and the next step was to study further, but here i am sitting jobless and meaningless (literally). I do not want to do a P.hD , certainly not in sciences. But then what do i want to do? Having to ask this question at this stage in life I feel is a big reason everyone in our age group is unhappy and trapped. We do so many things in our life out of obligation or without thinking. It kills one as an individual. Most of the times we do as we are supposed to do and do not even want to think about the what ifs. This ends up most of us in the same trap. We are scared to take chances, to let go, to accept that there might be more behind the curtain we have in front of our eyes. And that there might be something more behind our fears.

No no i do not have a solution till now, there are many things i can do. But what is it that i want to do? It seems like an easy questions but i think its the toughest thing i had to face till now. Leaving behind all the notions, perceptions and rights and wrongs…its scary. Its scary because its like you have to fall in love with yourself. And in our country we are told to “love” everything else but ourselves.

So yes i am trying to figure out what and why i want to do. Till now i have lot of suggestions from people what i should do, the why has not come yet.

After all the fears and insecurities i have reached to the point that i am okay with the fact that “ i do not know what i want to do” , but this time i will first figure out why i want to do it.