I am a woman, born in this body, married, mother, and now grandmother. I am the epitome of a cis woman. I also have many trans women friends. We go out together, we have dinner, we laugh, we talk, we dance, we drink, we do all the things that girlfriends do. None of them have ever tried to show me their “woman penis”. Quite to the contrary, they are all very private about whatever genitals they have. We don’t discuss if they’ve had surgery or not. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you if they had or not. IF they find themselves in a position that they need to expose themselves, whether it be to change clothes or use the restroom, they excuse themselves to a stall with a closed door. Privacy is paramount to them, as is respect. The same respect they show me.
Keeping “cis spaces” is absolutely transphobic, and lends greatly to the power struggle and division that you feel between men and women. You are placing trans women in a position below cis women. You can’t deny hierarchy if you help to create it.
Just because I have menstruated, I am not more of a woman than any other woman I know. Just because I have children, I am not a better woman than any other woman I know. Just because I survived sexual assault, I am not any stronger than any other women. Just because I was born in this body, I am not special.