Here is a perspective you may not know exists:
When I was an 18-year-old man, I was disappointed that I did not receive a much-needed scholarships to help me pay for attending college to pursue a degree in engineering.
Although initially dejected, I was repeatedly told by teachers, other students, and adults how much deserved a scholarship, but because I was not a member of a “protected class” it would be harder for me to obtain one. I delayed college and worked to earn the money to pay for tuition, I continued to work while in school to make ends meet.
I was surprised to see that in my 100+ student classes, there were only a few women. I began to wonder whether women really wanted to be engineers or if a lot of what I was hearing was just fantasy. Classes were hard, especially when you must devote part of your time to a job.
I noticed that many of the male students continually offered help to the females in the class, something they did not do for other males. Males were seen as competition, women were not.
Near the end of my first year of college, I applied for a job as computer programmer for a professor in the engineering lab. I was turned down, even when I offered to do it as an intern for no pay. Imagine how upset I was when I overheard a secretary laugh and say that “this professor only hires cute girls.”
I finally found an intership working for a small start up. Despite the blatant favoritism of women over men, the women were unable or unwilling to understand the resentment of the other people working in the company. Doing the same work but not getting the rewards, the notoriety, the publicity. All this was made worse when the women got bonuses, time off, lunch meetings with the boss.
On the social side, because of study and work, I rarely went out in the evenings with friends. When I eventually started dating someone, all her friends referred to me as “the engineer” and continuously told me how lucky my girl was to find a man who would be able to support her in a manner she deserved, and how lucky she was that she would be able to pursue her interests without regard for a job….
Fast forward a few years; I was unable to obtain a job after receiving my undergraduate engineering degree. As a result I took jobs that lead no where, but had I not taken them I would not have been able to pay the bills. I finally landed an engineering job when one of the engineers at a local company left for maternity leave. I was told that the job would be temporary, unless the woman did not return after having her baby. Luckily for me she did not…..
Here I sit, trying to get ahead but stuck in a dead end job….