Lost Time, Lost Self
I wore desperation today,
Not by choice, at first,
Just trying to fit in,
To make new friends, you know.
Being different is one thing,
Feeling like an alien
On an alien planet is another.
To find a space where I feel safe,
Where I’m free to be different,
Yet no energy draws me in,
Nor I them — no family within
This community’s fold.
I wore desperation today,
Scared I’d lost too much time.
Now that I’ve become,
Now that I’ve arrived,
Am I too late?
I wore desperation today,
Feeling like a failure,
Invisible, unseen,
Begging for love,
For space,
For understanding.
I wore desperation today,
Too tired to stand as myself,
To represent me,
Needing a break,
A different cloak to hide in.
Maybe if I pushed,
Life would finally give.
I wore desperation today,
Still unkind to myself,
Looking in the mirror,
That familiar feeling
Of not enough
Hugs me,
Looks at me with determination,
Announces, “Welcome home.”
