NIGERIAN WHITE WEDDING

I look at weddings and as a person the first thing that comes to my mind is ‘Party jollof’.

For most of Nigerians, its the Ankara and the Lace, for some it’s the ‘iro and gele’. Some it’s just because it’s another chance to meet the one.

For me, I can go to anyone’s wedding just for the joy of eating the ‘concoction/ingredient mixed rice, called jollof rice’ in Nigeria.

I was on my own some days ago when a young lady wanted a movie transfer. I took the chance to check her gallery to see what I can get and behold what I saw were wedding videos.

I do not have a problem with her having them. Let me tell you where the problem started. I opened one of the videos and it was an exquisite, expensive, highly decorated, money rubbishing wedding. The opening scenes where the couples were getting dressed in their various rooms were a sight to behold. The letter exchange and all.

Then came the wedding itself. The progression and procession of the couples to their seats in front was not a sight to behold. I’m not sorry to say, but watching 'phonography' would’ve been more gratifying and glorifying than watching the bride tuck her 'baby food factory' in repeatedly. In the name of white wedding. Whoever made the gown needs to be brought to book. Such a crime against nature.

As if the drama wasn't enough, I watched the husband remove his jacket, throw it to the wind along with caution, then went down low and crawled into her gown while he attempted to bring out a piece of something which I'm not sure if it's a cloth or a flower, I was too distracted to notice. While the young man was busy doing that, so were children, underaged and other categories of people seated busy watching.

The wedding was filled with so much 'white touches' that I wasn't sure if it was civilization I was watching or human devolution.

On the good side of life, the next wedding video I saw was a ‘yoruba’ wedding. Apologies to every non-yoruba reading this but yoruba people know how to make a wedding look like a wedding. The dances, the clothe,it was all with excellent touches.

Please note that there was ‘party jollof and moin moin.’

I was expecting the wedding to be another 21st century shameful conjuction of two ignoranty educated fools, but the traditionals disappointed. There was no need of PG, all kids can watch. From the way everything was set, even a blind man would've seen modernization and tradition being mixed together in a beautiful matrimony.

Most importantly, maturity was in the air.

LET ME MAKE MY POINT

Good jollof rice does not make a wedding. The expensive clothes do not, the paparazzi doesn't either.

Firstly, I think parents have a duty to ensure their children do not just grow up but grow up maturely. Then, they shouldn’t waste all of their time trying to make their children western, Ahba! don’t you want a decent wedding ? Well, like an average person believes in, prayer: pray for them. It is bad for your pretty little girl to grow up stupid and start packing melons on the dance floor of her wedding, why?

African children of today. You’re not Kim Kardashian, you’re Nkechi, Nike, Naheemah. Please stop trying to westernize yourself too much. Those things are for your husbands. I will not talk about who’s been there before, that’s your concern, but try and keep the package off the dance floor, till you get inside. The reception is enough, the entertainment is good, we don’t want more than what we came for. 
Please learn to train yourselves, I have not said this in years, 'be good ambassadors of your family’. The family faces ’us’ the public for how good or bad you turn out to be. You’re allowed to be bad, but be bad when you’re on your honeymoon and after.

Please note, traditional weddings do not make the best wedding impression, but the chances of dropping oranges are lower. If it’s the ‘white’ styled own you want, do it, but keep those things out of reach of our sight.

Most importantly, I want to advise everyone, all the expensive things do not make a good wedding, build a good character instead.

Please, always keep good jollof rice at weddings, they’re life savers.

Signed, 
Princely X, ambassador for ‘party jollof’.

Picture Credit: zikoko.com