I’m really sorry for your bad experiences, but this is really offensive.
“And I am thinking all the time: patriarchy is killing us. Patriarchy has been killing us. Patriarchy is going to get us all killed. Masculinity is going to get us all killed. We are all going to die because of stupid fucking patriarchal masculinity.”
What are you talking about? The modern west does not live in such an extreme patriarchy. What scares *me* is the third-wave feminist movement that is actively teaching women to not empower themselves, and that they are victims of this oppressive patriarchy, that all men within it must “listen and believe” and shutup while actively supporting your cause and being an ally. Maybe these men you talk about do have sincere questions about this model. I do.
Fuck any man who touches you or discriminates against you. But there are real problems with feminism, and there might be reasons why colleagues are not standing by you, no matter how liberated you feel your mind is or how clearly you are “seeing” this oppressive structure. Maybe you should entertain the radical idea of asking men. Maybe they have no problems with equality but don’t want your version of the ideal world.