Christmas Moon

If you’ve grown up in a big city, near sea level you cannot imagine the night sky at higher altitudes with the cool crisp and impossibly clear air enveloping your body.

That full moon of this Christmas, climbing on the thick horizon clouds more appropriate to Halloween than Christmas, was a sight to behold between trees stripped of leaves and decked with Christmas lights.

I spent Christmas missing my Twilight Princess. She haunted me, still. When I was driving around town looking at Christmas lights, I could see her sitting with us, my mother and I. I could feel her presence, sitting there with us, content; maybe putting her head on my shoulder or singing along with the Christmas music.

I’m going crazy?! Oh, god, I don’t think I can confess that to anyone.

At Christmas Eve dinner. I know she’d be enjoying it here with me. I know she’d have a smile. I know my family would adore her (because anyone in their right fucking mind would adore her — this isn’t much of a leap — but still).

Driving, we ended up at the zoo and I realized, if she had been there we would have certainly gone in. We would have had to take that adventure (and with her help I could have convinced my mother it would be fun).

I even sent her a gooberish selfie wishing her a Merry Christmas (to be fair, if she hadn’t wished me merry Christmas the day before, when responding to another message, then I may have stayed my photo-trigger finger).