The first-year journey of a ‘weak’ student at IITG.
Two months ago, one of my friends, Saurabh Baranwal (B.Tech second-year, CSE, IITG) wrote a blog about his first year at IITG and he shared it on various platforms/pages, giving an overview of what a first-year student feels and experiences at IITG. I’m giving the link to that blog here https://medium.com/saurabhiitg/a-freshman-year-at-iitg-dreams-to-getting-real-wings-9ea7b6af339d, please read this before continuing on my blog. To be honest, it is a very good blog, I loved the way he expressed everything which he (and almost all of us) experienced but there was something that he missed; actually, I and many people like me weren’t able to relate to it and I know the reason behind that. So, here’s my story, my academic experience at IITG as a fresher (I am sorry but this blog will have no pictures).
I entered IITG with the same enthusiasm as everyone did. Dramatic clouds, serene lakes, lush green campus and awesome people…everything around me looked so good. Orientations happened and classes started on the very next day. It started off well but in just two days of instructions, it was clear that there’s no seriousness in the class like we had in our coachings, back in Kota (or other cities). I didn’t understand most of the concepts taught in MA101 and in PH101 (I know PH101 shouldn’t be here because it was basic maths and mechanics but honestly speaking, I was weak in Physics since class 11th) but I never took it seriously, not because I was ignorant but because I was always told in my coaching institute (thanks to them for this fantastic lie) that you won’t have to give so much effort after joining a college, just study one night before the exam and you will pass/get good grades (this is just bullshit, never ever believe this). I met the reality when I gave the first set of quizzes, my score in every course was below average (except Engineering Drawing Quiz) and I was depressed.
This depression didn’t last long because we had something big coming up (No, I’m not talking about Techniche)…the MID-SEMS…after giving the Mid-Sems I was pretty sure that now I need a laptop (Yes, I didn’t have a laptop till the Mid-Sems, I studied the lecture slides on my smartphone which you all know is not helpful when your mobile data is ‘ON’). I went home in the Mid-Sem breaks just to bring my laptop and while returning I thought — “Now, I might be able to study well and score a bit more.” but I was wrong…in two months the END-SEMS happened, winter vacations started and after 15 days the results came and I…failed (No, not in all courses, but yeah, in the nightmare course — PH101). My SPI/CPI read 6.30 (thanks to all the three lab courses where I scored a perfect 10, otherwise it would have been below 6) in the grade card and it had an annoying ‘F’ in front of PH101. ‘F’… the letter I never thought would appear in my grade cards for life…it was that day, when all my pride shattered, District Topper in ICSE 2016, student of one of the top 5 batches in the coaching, cleared JEE Advanced in 2018 and what now…an ‘F’ in Physics.
I can’t describe the next 15 days at home, I wasn’t able to enjoy anything, be it food, T.V. or anything good. I was depressed and my parents were worried. Thanks to their support, I was at least able to prepare for the supplementary examination which was going to be held at the start of the second semester.
The second semester started, I gave the supplementary exam and everything looked fine again. In a few days, the results for the supplementary were announced and guess what, I got the highest possible grade in that exam (CC or 6 is the highest achievable grade in the supplementary exam). The grade card was updated and now my CPI read 7.14; not great but still an average number. Well, the real nightmare was yet on its way, aka PH102. By now I had developed an inferiority complex just because I failed in a course. I considered myself as a weak student and tried to improve my status in front of myself. But, you never know what’s about to come…right? Neither did I…once again I scored less in Physics and Maths (in quizzes and Mid-sems), and this time my fear was doubled. By the end of the second semester, I had made up my mind that anyhow I am not going to fail this time (This was not a good mindset). As a result of this mindset, I started to give more time to PH102 and MA102 and didn’t even care about other courses. The End-sems started and one by one it proceeded towards the last one… PH102… I gave the exam with a mind filled with nervousness and…freedom, freedom from the torturing 1st year at IITG (for me…not for everyone I guess).
You think that’s the end…no my friend…after 15 days the results were announced and once again (huge rounds of applauses for me)…I failed…once again in Physics…and this time I had two full months to suffer. This time I literally felt numb and helpless, two times in a row for the same subject feels like death when you start to think about it and obviously I had a lot of time to think. My SPI this time was below 6 (told ya’ it wasn’t a good mindset, I scored average or below average in all the other courses just because I focused more on MA102 and PH102) and my CPI was 6.28. I was craving to come back to college because I didn’t feel good at home but that didn’t happen. I again spent a month preparing for the supplementary exam. Literally, no trips, no sports, no friends, I didn’t do anything at home except for eating, studying, thinking and sleeping…nothing felt good; I didn’t even attend family functions just because of the negative vibes. Well, I came back to college at the start of the third semester, gave the supplementary exam but this time I didn’t get the highest possible grade (I got a CD or 5) but at least I passed and had nothing like a backlog in my first year. My CPI upgraded to 6.63; not satisfactory but again, better than 6.28 and an ‘F’. In my whole first year (I would love to share this), I didn’t join any club, didn’t play any sport (except for the SA course) and didn’t learn anything new. Well, I did participate in some Inter-Hostel Competitions but I did nothing new there. The problem with me was that I never approached anyone when I was suffering, I never asked for help to any of my friends when I wasn’t able to understand the courses. I could have done better in the theory courses and side by side I could have learnt new things if I came out of my room in search of answers for my problems but alas! I never did that and I stand below average today. I know, there are many people out there in IITG who are facing the same problems and might relate to this story. Also, there are freshers who might face such problems in future (I wish this never happens).
I will say just one thing in the end — recognize your problems and once recognized, work on them. Never be ashamed of asking for help, at least to your friends. I worked on my problems after they affected me and that is where I went wrong. I know, supplementary exams were good for me (as I got CC and CD which is better than just passing with a DD) but I wasted my two long holidays because of ‘F’s. So please, if you know that you are weak or at least not as good as others then start working on it from now onwards and I can guarantee you, your hard work will show up somewhere in the future and you will never get into bad situations.
Thank You for reading this.
