Growing Up In a Dysfunctional Family
Sidra Mahmood

Hey Sidra, it is indeed sad that you went through all this. You are going to have a lot of people be like “oh you’re so courageous” or whatever. However, I really feel you are doing yourself a disservice in the long run. While you might feel temporarily better by writing this out, and having people compliment you, most of them are not going to be a part of your future. It is your parents and brother who will be there along your way. They are the ones who spend the most time caring about you, not any of your Facebook friends. Trust me, if you are hit in a car accident (God forbid), your Facebook friends would not run to get you. They might put a sadface next to your hospital checkin. It would be your parents who would be distraught and going after you. But, here you are, selling out the people who care most about you-your parents-for some publicity and sympathy. Yeah, you might say “oh i’m being honest” or “don’t shame me”, etc. but really, what you have done is hung out your family’s “dirty laundry”-not in a backyard-but on the Internet. And if your family had done something unconscionably terrible (to the point where you’d cut them off), I’d understand. But they have not. Do you really think it’s fair of you to publicize your brother’s personal medical issues? Did you even ASK? Would you like it if your brother wrote an article about YOUR mental issues? I would personally feel SO betrayed by my elder sister if she did that.

You are always talking and posting about Islam (obnoxiously, I may add-I even had a friend say “this chick makes me want to leave Islam”). When you wrote this article, did you not remember the Hadith that says to conceal the sins of your brother? When anyone does try to talk to you, you often seem very self-righteous and dismissive. That’s why no one can really advise you in person, and hence why I am writing anonymously here.

I can’t imagine how hurt your parents and brother must feel to know that you just hung them out emotionally naked in front of everyone. If you are blessed with a nice Muslim guy for marriage (inshAllah..btw do you think this article helped >_>)…anyway if you are blessed with marriage and kids…inevitably, like any other parent, you would make some mistakes and perhaps create some dysfunction. In this case, I really hope your children would give you the respect of having a discussion (IN-PERSON), rather than exposing and humiliating you online. The way you approached this issue is totally wrong and would make anyone hesitant to get close to you and solve an issue. Most guys would not consider marrying a girl who so readily rips open her family’s honor and secrets. Why could you not have done this in person or in your therapy group? Now even if this article is deleted, probably hundreds of people have seen it :(((

Please have the humility to APOLOGIZE to your parents and brother (not with excuses about how they did xyz so that’s why you did it), get this article deleted, and engage in some serious introspection before you make your life into a trainwreck and hurt other people as well. I know I sound horribly harsh, but I did spend a good 15 minutes typing this all out, and I would only waste that much time if I somewhat cared about you. I haven’t seen you in about three years, but I do think someone needs to tell you the truth. My other friends just unfollowed you on Facebook and mostly avoid interactions with you. And since you are always bemoaning the state of your single self-do note: posting about how it hurt to insert a tampon is way TOO MUCH INFORMATION and since you are looking to attract a religious Muslim guy, it shows a lack of modesty (HAYA). That post was from like a year ago, but I still remember the incredulous face my Muslim friend made as he was reading the status. Anyway, who cares about him, my point is basically, “check yourself before you wreck yourself (and other innocent bystanders)”. It takes years to build a reputation, and only a few minutes to destroy it. And how painful must it be for your parents to know that their own blood is behind that destruction…Please work through your demons and don’t hurt other innocent bystanders in the process.

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