Can you love your family only if you live together?
I’ve been living away from home for over two years. I work, pay my own bills, buy my grocery (so what if I order from Grofers?), do my chores (sometimes), party, and everything else that goes with it. I’d like to believe that I’m a woman who’s fiercely independent, and someone who won’t let anyone take that away from her. I don’t go on and on about how I miss my family and friends back in Kolkata. To be honest, as important as these people are for me (and they know it), I don’t feel like going back.
Yes, I do believe that I’m lucky enough to be leading a decent life. But, the fact that I enjoy my independence and don’t feel sad about being away from home does not give anyone the license to call me “selfish”, or “irresponsible”. If you’re staying away from home whether it’s out of choice or necessity, it’s fine. If you’re someone who chooses to live with your family even though you’re economically independent, it’s no biggie either. What does bother me is the attitude of some people (no generalising here 🤘) towards the ones who are living away from home out of choice.
Declaring that you love your family on the grounds that you’re living together is really flawed! I’d have used the word “fuck-logic”, but that would be going overboard. Speaking of which, I’d totally recommend this article. If anyone tries to put me down by saying that I don’t care about my folks (or any other mean stuff), I call bullshit. Here’s the thing: Mostly, people stay together with family because of selfish reasons like -
- You’re not economically independent.
- You don’t want to spend money on rent.
- You love the security and comfort.
- You want home cooked food (which you don’t even help in preparing).
- You don’t want to deal with unnecessary problems.
- You’re plain lazy.
So, no sweetheart, if you’re a young adult living with your parents, it doesn’t make you any better than me. 🙃
Another thing, living independently has been romanticised by a lot of people to the extent that if you’re living alone, it’s automatically assumed that you’re living in a fairyland, having the time of your life!
Yes, living alone gives you plenty of freedom, but you have to make up for it by being responsible, and by this, I don’t just mean paying bills on time. You’ve gotta look out for yourself, because no one else is gonna do it for you. You’ve to trust your judgement, take decisions, and own its consequences. You trust people around you, sometimes get hurt, pull yourself up again, and all that jazz.
No amount of Skype calls can make up for the physical absence of my family and friends. No matter the distance, they’re very dear to me, and I hate it when someone undermines it just on the basis of my lifestyle.
Now, does living alone make me any better than the ones who don’t? NO! It’s all just a matter of choice. And it’s high time we get it, and respect it. Okay, rant’s over! ✌️
Like it, or don’t like it? I’d love to hear in the comments below! :)
Originally posted here.