Crossing the white woman’s desert: leaving the hot house of privilege for solidarity

Today in therapy I used the phrase “white woman’s desert” to describe the psychological work of leaving the hot house of privilege for the real world.

In the hot house of privilege, we are told that good white girls don’t need to suffer because society is organized for them.

I recognized that I had been soaked in this ridiculous lie when I had so much trouble adapting to chronic illness and disability. I was angry. It shouldn’t have happened.

On the face of it that’s a ridiculous statement, yet for two years I struggled with the unfairness.

This isn’t white fragility; it’s white incompetence for dealing with reality. #Whiteness specializes in controlling reality, owning it, shaping it to white ends. I was appalled at how much my soul rebelled at the facts of life. I knew and know many people who are worse off, yet whiteness whispered that it was unfair for life to happen to ME.

In order to establish a new foundation I had to cross the great white desert that separated me from the poor, the ugly, the sick, the smelly, and the loud, not to mention Black.

It took more than 40 days.

#WhiteLies say my suffering is more important than yours. #WhiteLies say if I focus on getting richer, I can help you later. By the time I’m richer I’ll be in a better position to judge whether or not you deserve my solidarity or not.

#WhiteLiesKill

#WhiteLiesLie

Transcribed from a Twitter thread: https://x.com/shaboom/status/1810457336332599663?s=46