“What about exercise?” She looked up. “I hadn’t considered it.” “We have to get exercise. We’d go mad otherwise.” The lockdown had been announced only the day before, and they had had no time to prepare. The Prime Minister had explained sorrowfully (he had a trick of sounding very sorrowful…

Dear Big Vibrator, We get it. You love to make tiny vibrator attachments to stick on the end of regular vibrators for things like “clitoris stimulation” and“G-spot stimulation” and “adding texture to our orgasms.” (What do you mean by texture? Like…grainy?) But could you please take into consideration that some…

It was something we used to make fun of together, this need for people to believe that their love was tremendous that they were somehow better lovers than all the other (millions and millions of) lovers that had existed since the world was fire-new. We never thought so. We never…

He seemed nice. In reality, he was very different. — He’d seemed nice. Zoe had noticed him — not for himself, but she’d noticed him noticing her. He was with a guy she knew, and she’d seen him looking. Not ogling a specific body part, which would have been creepy (who wants to be ogled?) …

It’s less than a month to Valentine’s Day. I don’t really think a lot about Valentine’s Day — either positively or negatively. There’s that terrible ensemble movie, Valentine’s Day, in which Jessica Biel cries and stuffs chocolate into her mouth as she bemoans her undesirability/singlehood. (Jessica Biel!) I find the…

½ (but only 1/2) of The Holiday Watch when: you feel too cranky to be loved Half of The Holiday is a perfect, delightful, peppermint-bark dipped movie. The Cameron Diaz/Jude Law half. What’s not to love about Cameron playing the (stereotypically male) role of the Woman Who Cannot Feel Anything…

A poem about men and women — I. Sometimes, I think of men like a particularly long stampede in the grass. They are not cruel, not any more than animals have a right to be. They heard something alarming, and they followed The call. It was your bad luck, wasn’t it that you happened to be there, caught underfoot—eyes…

A story about dating someone who scares you — 1. He told you he was crazy. He told you from the beginning. He said it in a funny singsong voice: “I don’t mean crazy in the way that men say their ex was ‘crazy,’ baby I mean car-razy!” Actually, he didn’t have to tell you. Admit it. You thought it…

A story about that guy who’s never wrong — He wasn’t very good with women. Not that, you know, he had a problem. No. It was nothing like that. Sometimes he would read articles about the kind of men who formed misogynist groups—men who had terrible body odor or perhaps a club foot, things like that — and feel…