Dante’s Inferno Skit Script

Characters: D - Dante, V - Virgil, N- Narrator (Dante’s monologue)

TEXT OVERLAY: TITLE (You guys figure that one out)

SHOT OF CHRISTIAN, TEXT OVERLAY “With (whatever you want to call yourself, Christian) as Dante”

SHOT OF JAMES, TEXT OVERLAY: “Jamis (or whatever James wants to be called) as Virgil”

SHOT OF OPEN FIELD, TEXT OVERLAY: “Also featuring (Whatever Chenla wants to be called) as Dante’s internal monologue”

NEXT TEXT OVERLAY, “Edited by (Whatever Isaiah wants to call himself”)

FINAL TEXT OVERLAY, “Script by Eddie Chacha”

FIRST SCENE, FOREST

(Dante enters forest, afraid)

N - Where even am I right now? How did I get into a forest when I was just going to the store to buy milk? [Dante takes out phone, holds it up] I don’t even have any bars. Really? Not even one? Dang it, big red! [Dante puts phone down, looks at ground] I guess I’ll have to find my way out. [Dante walks, scene transition]

(Nature sound effect, like a ruffling)

N - (Dante looks surprised) What was that? (Dante looks down)

(Pan to insect 1, pan to Dante gasping and turning)

(Pan to insect 2, pan to Dante gasping and turning)

(Pan to empty scene, pan to Dante confused)

D - Pretty sure there was supposed to be something there.

V - Over here.

(Dante turns)

V - There you go.

(Dante gasps and falls over)

V - I’ve had people fall for me before, but this is ridiculous. [Virgil helps Dante up, Dante dusts himself off]

D - I just didn’t think anyone else was in here. Why are you here?

V - I’m being angsty.

D - But why here?

V - Because the animals don’t care if I blast my screamo. Now what are you doing here? You aren’t even dressed in black. Get with the program.

D - I was going somewhere else, and I’m here now.

V - Do you want to specify anything in that, or? Okay, look, whatever your name is -

D - Dante.

V - Okay, Dante, I don’t know where you’re going, and I don’t care enough to want to know, but I do know that if you want to get out of this forest you’re going to need me to help you. Let’s be honest, if those (picks up fake insect) fake monsters scared you, you’ll probably die here on your own.

D - Okay then. I’m down with that.

V - Good, because everything’s going downhill from here. (Virgil starts walking)

D - Wait.

V - (Throws hands up) What?

D - I just wanted to know your name.

V - I’m Virgil, and I don’t have a lot of patience for stupid questions. Now let’s go. (Virgil keeps walking)

D - Wait.

V - Yes?

D - Are you sure it’s safe?

V - Are you going to wait here for your mommy to get you?

D - Good point. (Dante walks along with Virgil)

Walking Montage

SCENE TRANSITION - GATES OF “HELL”

(Shot of school zone speed sign, pans to Dante and Virgil walking)

V - (Stops walking) We’re heading into dangerous territory right here.

D - What, you don’t like kids?

V - Of course I do. I’m not that much of a monster. The thing is, these things aren’t kids.

D - What do you mean?

V - You’ve never been on Vine, have you?

D - What is that?

Virgil has a 15 second flashback montage thing (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BysxCTiI2ImGZmNHaFZkLTlydlk)

V - (shakes head) You’re so innocent. I almost feel bad taking you through here. Oh well. Let’s go.

(HORRIBLE WALKING MONTAGE)

SCENE TRANSITION: DANTE AND VIRGIL SIT IN A CLEAR FIELD

D - Why were they all so loud?

V - They don’t know how to be heard any other way.

D - W-why were they pushing us? We were just walking along -

V - Give them anything but a blank stare and they’ll attack you. (pause) Got any other questions? Might as well make it three.

D - What time is it?

V - (looks at phone) 3:45.

D - At least they’re gone quickly.

V - Yeah. You know, David -

D - Dante.

V - Yeah, sure - I’m actually sorry for having you go through all that. We didn’t have to directly go through the kids, but -

D - Nah, it’s okay. I trust your judgement.

V - I mean, it’s only going to get worse from here. We still have 6 more points to stop at before we reach the store.

D - I think we can do it.

V - Really? You’re not as much of a coward as I thought. (Raises hand)

Up high.

D - (High Fives Virgil)

FREEZE FRAME

TEXT OVERLAY, “TO BE CONTINUED…”

IGNORE THE FOLLOWING

TEXT OVERLAY, “A FEW MINUTES LATER, WHILE RUNNING TO THE NEXT LOCATION, DANTE AND VIRGIL GOT HIT BY A PASSING SUV.”

NEXT OVERLAY, “IN A COMMUNITY OUTPOURING OF GRIEF, DANTE’S FAMILY WAS GIVEN THEIR OWN DAIRY COW.”

SECOND TO LAST OVERLAY, “AT VIRGIL’S FUNERAL, THE PARROT-LEAD DEATH METAL BAND HATEBEAK PERFORMED. ”

LAST OVERLAY, “THEY WERE BURIED NEAR LOCAL HOT SPRINGS.”

(Fade to black)

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