OOTM Script 2016

HT – Helpful Teacher, Mrs. Caroline

DY – Danny, Small Boy Who is Unanimously Chosen to Pilot the Vehicle

IS – Isaiah

GM – John, Boy who can do nothing but go along with everything

ED – Eddie, the Charming Idealist

GE – Jeff, Who’s Enthusiastic but Never Had the Right Words

HT – Imagine, if you will, audience, a group of students so enthusiastic and willing to use their imagination and creativity, but who under the belief that one member has everything in control takes them on a wild goose chase. This is the story of the vehicle builders at Allen Williams High School.

DY is in SlideCar, while IS, GM, and GE watch –

IS – Well, at least it’s something. After Eddie left, this is all we could really build. We should probably test it out before we present it, though.

DY – OK. Let me get into position, then… (Shuffles around in vehicle)

GE – Hey, guys. (IS + GM stand around GE, away from the SlideCar) I never told you this, but I found this thing on Amazon that supposedly works like a time machine. I bought it online and put it on the vehicle.

GM – (Nods)

IS – Wait, wait, what? We’ll be disqualified! You can’t just put a commercially produced product on the vehicle like that! Go tell Danny to take it off!

DY – Alright guys, it took me awhile, but I remembered how to drive this. Let’s go into the hallway to test this out!

GE + IS – Danny, no!

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom in the Beginning of the Program. ED, GE, GM, IS and HT are in the classroom.)

ED – So what I had in mind was to make a giant ball of bamboo, with holes for breathing and seeing and a door that opens for the driver to get in and out.

GM – (Nods.)

IS – Um, are you sure that would work?

ED – I mean, I’d need to apply my vast physics knowledge for specifics, but it should.

GE – Who’s going to drive it?
ED – Danny, of course. He’s the lightest.

GE – You’re not even going to ask him first?

ED – No. Speaking of, where is he?

DY – (DY Enters room) Where am I? Everything seems weird. Like a déjà vu.

ED – You’re in Mrs. Caroline’s room. For the Olympiad of Intellectual Capacities. Remember?

DY – Oh, yeah. Well, the vehicle seems to work well, even if it is a bit hard to control.

ED – Um, did you make that?

DY – We made it, remember?

ED – No we didn’t. We’re going to be making a hamster ball. Or, this just came up – how about a wheelchair with an industrially sized fan? That’s great. I have a wheelchair, and we could easily buy an industrial fan at the nearest supermarket.

GM – (Nods.)

IS – Um…

ED – It’s settled, then. (Watch beeps) Well, off to volunteering at the soup kitchen. See you all next week.

IS – Um…

DY – I mean, we have all this built, don’t we? (Points at vehicle)

ED – We could use that to carry the wheelchair. Could be convenient. Bye, nerds. (ED leaves)

DY – Does he do a lot? It could get in the way of what we’re trying to do.

GE – I mean, he seems to have everything in control, so…

(Dramatic sound effect)

DY – So what do I do with this?

IS – Test it out a bit first. See if it works well.

DY – I’m really having déjà vu today. (Starts to leave)

HT – Oh, he forgot his planner. Danny, would you be a dear and give it to him? He shouldn’t be too far.

JE – He probably doesn’t want it anyway. You should probably just throw it away.

DY – I’ll take it just in case. (somehow gets planner into vehicle.) Well, I’m off.

IS – Don’t get stuck in a time warp.

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom at the end of the Program. GE, GM, IS and are in the classroom.)

IS – Danny! You’re back! Are you okay?

GE – Did the time machine work? I can return it if it didn’t!

DY – Yeah, I’m fine. Wait, time machine? It all makes sense now! No wonder Eddie was taking about the hamster ball! I went back in time, guys!

GE – Yes!

IS – No, not yes! We have to take this off now, or risk all our work being for nothing.

GE – If only we had the hindsight to know that Eddie would leave us just when we needed him the most.

DY – Oooh! I have his planner from back in time! (GM, GE and IS crowd around DY)

GE – See? Look here: he had something planned for the day of the event since… early January!

IS – Maybe he didn’t put it together then.

GE – But maybe he could! Why doesn’t Danny go back in time to early February or something so that he could tell our old selves?

IS – That could work. Right, John?

GM – (Nods.)

GE – Alright, let me make it clear to our old selves by drawing arrows… circling…. and writing intensely. (Rips page out) There! Now go warn us!

DY – This day just keeps getting stranger.

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom in the middle of the Program. ED, GE, GM, IS and HT are in the classroom.)

ED – So, the wheelchair seems to have gotten stolen, guys.

IS – Woah, what? But that was all we had planned! Now what are we supposed to do?

ED – Don’t worry, guys. We can figure something out. Ooh – how about something powered by perpetual motion?

IS – Isn’t that impossible?

ED – It’s settled, then. We’ll do a perpetually powered hover board. We can buy the supplies online or something.

GM – (Nods.)

GE – Okay, then Eddie. You’re in control.

(Dramatic music plays again.)

DY – Is that someone’s ringtone or something?

ED – Danny boy. Eager with a vehicle that looks like a… well I don’t even know what.

DY – I mean, if you don’t have anything better…

ED – Three words: perpetually powered hover board.

DY – That’s not going to work.

ED – See, Isaiah? Everyone else agrees! (watch beeps) Off to rescue the polar bears. See you, nerds. (ED leaves)

IS – Sometimes I just feel like Eddie doesn’t know what he’s doing.

GE – Me, too.

GM - (Nods.)

DY – I mean, he can’t even come to the competition – look! (Shows rest of team planner page)

IS – You’re kidding! Well, this puts a notch in our plans.

GE – A huge one.

GM – (Nods.)

GE – Well, thanks for warning us, Danny. Though I’m not going to ask how you got his planner.

DY – Good. So what should we do now?

IS – Use that, I guess. We have it built. John could write a script, right John?

GM - (Thumbs up)

GE – Actually, didn’t he have another one?

IS – Yeah, but now that we don’t have the wheelchair, it’s useless. Here it is, I typed it up just before he lost it.

GE – How about you take that, Danny? Keep it just in case Mr. Ideas finds his wheelchair.

DY – Sure. I assume you want me to go try this vehicle out, right?

IS – How did you know?

DY – Intuition. And plot convenience. Here I go!

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom at the end of the Program. GE, GM, IS and are in the classroom.)

IS – Well?

DY – It was delivered.

GE – Why isn’t anything changing, though? Shouldn’t we have planned ahead?

DY – Listen, I’m just the driver. I don’t actually know the ins and outs of time travel.

GE – Hmm. Suspicious.

IS – Maybe we just needed more information. Did you get anything from back in time?

DY – Um, yeah. The script we originally had for the wheelchair.

GE – Back when we thought we had everything planned out.

IS – Wait a minute, John, that script was pretty flexible though, right?
GM – (Nods.)

IS – So why don’t we just give it to our old selves, sort of like a fill-in-the-blank, so that they can use it?

DY – Why don’t I just give it back to our old selves? Not the older ones, but the old ones.

IS – Where did you buy this time machine from again?
GE – Does it really matter anymore? I’m pretty sure I can’t return it with the months of wear and tear.

(DY, GM and IS nod)

GE – Give me the script so I can... (Grabs script) …cross out the word “wheelchair”… and write a note in the top left corner.

IS – I would clap sarcastically but I don’t even feel strongly enough to do that.

DY – So… back into the time loop?
IS + JE – Yep.

DY – Off I go!

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom in the Beginning of the Program. ED, GE, GM, IS and HT are in the classroom.)

ED – Guys? Does anyone know where my planner is?

GM – (Shakes head.)

ED – Come on! How am I supposed to know which developing country I’m installing solar panels in?
IS – I don’t know what to tell you, Eddie.

ED – (sigh) I can’t do anything until I get it back. Sorry.

DY – Hey Eddie, I just so happened to find your planner outside.

ED – Oh, really? Thanks! And now that I think about it, your… box thing looks like a pretty good idea. Maybe we could do that instead of a wheelchair.

IS – We would need to rewrite our script then, wouldn’t we?

DY – Well, with some help, I turned John’s script into a template, so this should be easy, give or take a couple of minor changes.

JE – Wait, John was writing a script?

GM – (nods)

JE – You never told us this.

GM - (Shakes head)

JE – Well, then, how did Danny….

DY – I should go test this vehicle out again.

IS – OK then. And while you’re out there, could you get rid of this box? (hands DY box of parts)

DY – OK. I’ll be back. Eventually.

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom at the end of the Program. GE, GM, IS and are in the classroom.)

JE – Danny, I’m having suspicions on the quality of that time machine.

DY - I mean, I gave us the stuff.

JE – Yeah, but if you did give some stuff to us, shouldn’t we then be noticing any effects now?

IS – What’s in that box?

JE – Hmm…

DY – Oh, this? Nothing.

IS – Oh, yeah! I remember throwing it away. Then we realized that we needed to repurpose an item as part of a costume, and we just ended up tuning some paper into a hat.

JE – A pretty bad hat. That’s somewhere in this room.

IS – Yeah. Maybe if we had that box, we could have turned it into armor or something. That would have been better.

DY – I know where you’re going with this. Jeff?

JE – I’ll unfold it…. (unfolds box)… and… put tape on it.

GM – (Shakes head)

JE – We don’t have much time left. It’s better than nothing.

DY + IS – True.

JE – Here you go, my good man. Take this to us!

DY – You could at least say please. Off I go.

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom in the Middle of the Program. ED, GE, GM, IS and HT are in the classroom.)

ED – Ugh! These rules confound me!

HT – You guys will figure something out. I’m always here if you need help.

ED – What we really need is Danny to show up. Danny!

DY – (Enters room) Here. And I have some a required item!

ED – What? But I thought… you know what, this’ll have to work. This project is going downhill fast, gentlemen.

IS + GE – We know.

ED – So, OK, you fold this back up… (Folds armor back into box)… and we can say that we recycled it…. And that we need it for our vehicle because it’s dangerous. It works.

DY – So we have everything ready, right?

ED – Well, we still need a script.

DY – Don’t you have a template? I gave you guys one, didn’t I?
ED – No. I don’t remember that.

DY – Really? Isaiah? Jeff? John? Do any of you remember?
(IS + GE – No. GM – (Shakes Head))

DY – Weird.

ED – Well, in any case, you should test that thing out, shouldn’t you?

DY – I did that a few times, didn’t I?

IS – You never told us how it went, though.

DY – Oh, yeah. I never did. Well, I’ll make sure this time.

(Some sort of sound effect, as DY moves to Classroom at the end of the Program. GE, GM, IS and are in the classroom.)

GE – Danny, I realized something pretty important.

DY – Sorry to interrupt, but I just have to mention that the things that I’ve done don’t seem to be affecting us at any time period.

GE – Exactly! It’s –

IS – Yeah! Nothing has changed even though you’ve gone back in time 3 times to give us stuff we needed. It’s really strange.

GE – Well, that’s because that thing on the vehicle isn’t a time machine, it’s –

DY – Maybe it has something to do with the machine.

IS – Probably. Maybe we should check.

JE – Could someone listen to me, please? The reason that nothing has been changing is because the vehicle hasn’t been taking Danny back in time, it’s been taking him to…

GM – (stands, looks at audience)…alternate universes.

(Dramatic music plays, skit ends.)