#7

Oh it’s you again…

“Smile and others will smile back, smile to show how transparent, how candid you are. Smile if you have nothing to say. Most of all, do not hide the fact you have nothing to say nor your total indifference to others. Let this emptiness, this profound indifference shine out spontaneously in your smile.”
- J. Baudrillard

I smiled as I walked in seeing unfamiliar faces, searching for friends in this lonely place. I headed upstairs to a pop music frenzied dance space, past the desperate stares and squimish scowls and finally the crew in all of their glory. Beers and cocktails in one hand, leaning in and whispering in each others’ ear’s. As I began to give hugs and kisses, from my peripherial vision I saw her. The fire engine red lips, soft dark brown skin, and glamorous aura and my heart just melted a little. I was still locked in hugs and surprised “hello’s” and she reached out to hug me. The dreaded ex girlfriend hug at a friend’s gathering. When both of your bodies touch for the first time without the thought of romanticism or the break up for that matter. The “friendship hug”, the “Look, everyone we are ok, hug!” Yes that touch that brings back all the familiarity of warmth and love a person you once adored( ok, so you might still adore…)gives on a friendship level. Yes I’m going there, because, I can’t shake that the universe still brings us together on so many levels and we aren’t fit to be together right now with anyone. But, we still manage to connect on such a deep level, we still manage to laugh and have great compassionate conversations, to lift our spirits and be supportive. We still manage to care and love each other so well. I don’t know what to call what we have, but, it’s there and it’s special. I hope it lasts a great deal longer than our romantic relationship. I hope it lasts a lifetime.