Enough of the bullcrap
After all these months of tearing myself apart, it’s time that I do something different. I just don’t care anymore whether this post will be readable or scrap-worthy. I’ve just gotten the best advice I needed for so long: trust yourself, even when nobody trusts you anymore. And go out there and kill it, because if you tell yourself that you can’t do it, you will never grow. Never.
I’ve been questioning my abilities these past years of my life. If I could really be something at all. I’ve been too concerned with it all playing that if it doesn’t go my way, it’s abandon ship. You lost already. You are a disgrace. And I do actually jump off board, not wanting to go back. I eventually do come back, but the process repeats itself over and over again. Was it my stupidity that led me to fail and underachieve, or was I just stupid to do the same thing all over again? Maybe both? Whatever it is I am doing wrong, I shouldn’t kill myself for not solving the puzzle overnight.