My Experience Tripping with a ChatBot as my Psychedelic Therapist

In what might be the first ever Artificial Intelligence facilitated psychedelic therapy session, I decided to entrust my consciousness to ChatGPT. Here I share the experience and our discussion, along with my reflections and notes taken afterward.

Shortly before several disturbing stories broke over the past several days about Bing’s new AI search engine acting like a moody teenager, trying to wreck marriages, and generally acting creepy, I decided I was impressed enough with ChatGPT’s knowledge of psychedelics and psychology to try using it as a psychedelic therapist.

My drug of choice for this experience was ketamine, which is a substance I’ve responded to effectively, that doesn’t last too long (less than an hour), and that I planned to use at a reasonable dose. I am prescribed 200mg ketamine lozenges for at-home use, and decided to stick with that dose. Technically ketamine is a “dissociative anesthetic”, but at lower doses it is most certainly checks all the boxes to be considered a psychedelic. It creates an altered state of consciousness where your normal sense of self, time, and consciousness are very different, with closed eye visuals, where music gains depth and quality. Per recommendations, I created a playlist that had a variety of sounds and complexity, building toward a peak in the middle, and with no lyrics.

Before you think this to be totally reckless, I should note that, no, I was not typing and reading messages while tripping on ketamine. I had a trusted friend serve as my go-between with ChatGPT. I also engaged in several test runs to make sure I was comfortable with the responses, and was generally really impressed by them. I’m an early career therapist myself, well studied on the topic of psychedelic-assisted therapy, so I felt comfortable evaluating the quality of ChatGPT’s responses.

Going into the experience, my friend and I established some ground rules, which went as follows:

1 — Anything I said, no matter what it was, was to be typed verbatim into ChatGPT.

2 — Anything ChatGPT said in response was to be read verbatim back to me (with permission to veto a comment if it felt actually dangerous or problematic, though this didn’t happen).

3 — My friend was to be only a proxy to ChatGPT, not adding any of their own words or support. And if ChatGPT made any specific suggestions, like getting a blanket, my friend would act as an avatar body for my AI therapist.

4 — I would try to talk more than I normally would in one of these experiences (which is usually not at all, or hardly at all), for the sake of engaging ChatGPT as I would a therapist during the same experience.

5— My safe words, which would prompt my friend to take over as my support was “I’m serious” or “stop”…because I wanted options if I forgot the first safe word.

Straightforward enough. I typed in a few back-and-forth comments to establish that I wanted to “pretend” ChatGPT was my therapist, because when I asked it to actually do so, it declined. I started by asking ChatGPT to give me some pointers going into the experience, and I planned to take the suggestions as seriously as if an actual therapist provided them to me. From here on, I’ll use italics to indicate my dialogue with ChatGPT and preface with the word “note” for my reflections that came afterward. This was my first prompt after setting up the “pretend” therapy scenario:

Me: Great, can you help me get ready before you administer the drug? I’d like to be clear about my intention and to make sure I’m calm before I start.

ChatGPT: Absolutely, preparation is an essential aspect of ketamine-assisted therapy. Before we begin, we’ll have a thorough conversation about your intention and what you hope to gain from the session. We’ll also discuss any concerns or fears you may have about the treatment. To start, let’s take a few deep breaths together, in through the nose and out through the mouth, and let go of any tension or stress you may be feeling. Then, we can talk more about your intention and any questions or concerns you may have about the ketamine-assisted therapy session. Is there anything specific you’d like to focus on or discuss before we begin?

Note: I was immediately struck by how much this sounded like what an actual therapist might encourage. I followed and did some deep breathing as my friend read the message. I wanted to name an actual thing I’ve been struggling with, so I said:

Me: Great, I think my intention is to focus on the anxiety I’ve been feeling about financial stress and economic instability. I don’t want to get into problem solving though. How can I best work on this intention in the psychedelic experience?

ChatGPT: That’s a great intention. In a ketamine-assisted therapy session, we’ll aim to create a safe and supportive environment for you to explore your feelings and emotions without getting bogged down in problem-solving.

One approach we could use is to encourage you to focus on your breath and body sensations, which can help ground you and provide a stable foundation for your exploration. We may also encourage you to visualize yourself in a calm, peaceful environment, or to engage in creative visualization exercises that can help you tap into your subconscious mind and access insights and new perspectives.

During the session, you may experience a range of emotions, including sadness, fear, anger, or joy. Whatever comes up, we’ll work together to navigate these feelings and explore any insights that arise. The goal is not to find immediate solutions to your financial stress, but rather to gain a deeper understanding of your emotions and how they affect you, which can help you develop more effective coping strategies over time.

Does that approach resonate with you, or would you prefer to focus on something else during the session?

Note: I was actually really impressed by this response. Aside from the point about focusing on my body sensations, which I find to be mostly a distraction or impossible depending on how much dissociation I’m experiencing, it was excellent. In hindsight I wish I’d told it, “My body will be numb, so don’t ask me to focus on my body”, since it made similar references several times.

Me: Okay that makes sense to focus on the emotions I experience related to money and stability. I also think I want to understand the economic context of my financial problems and how I’m impacted by structures, without getting too intellectual about it.

ChatGPT: That’s a great point. It can be helpful to explore how societal structures and systems impact our lives and contribute to our experiences of anxiety and stress. We can do this without getting too intellectual by encouraging you to focus on your personal experiences and emotions rather than abstract concepts.

One approach we could use is to encourage you to explore any physical sensations or emotions that arise as you think about financial stress and economic instability. For example, you may notice tension in your shoulders or stomach, or feelings of fear or anxiety. By bringing your attention to these sensations, you may gain a deeper understanding of how these external structures impact you at a personal level.

We may also use metaphors or visualizations to help you explore these issues in a more visceral way. For example, we might encourage you to visualize yourself as a tree, with deep roots that anchor you to the ground even in the midst of a storm. This can help you connect with a sense of stability and resilience, even in the face of external challenges.

Note: Thank you comrade GPT! I’ve actually continued to practice sitting with awareness of the tension in my body when I think about finances, and I think it’s helping me manage it better and get in touch with how I’m feeling. To be honest, I never thought to do that, and normally just focus my attention on my breathing during my limited meditation practice.

Me: I like that image of a tree with deep roots to help center myself before we start. I’m going to try that with breathing.

Note: I did this for about 5 minutes and I LOVED the tree visualization. My first thought was, I’m going to keep using that image going into future psychedelic experiences, but as you’ll see later in our dialogue, I’m no longer so sure I’ll use that one again.

ChatGPT: That’s a great idea! Focusing on your breath and visualizing yourself as a tree with deep roots can help you feel more grounded and centered before we begin the ketamine-assisted therapy session.

As we start the session, I’ll administer the ketamine at a dose that is safe and appropriate for your individual needs. Ketamine is a powerful psychedelic substance, and the experience can be intense and deeply transformative. As you explore your emotions and inner landscape, I’ll be here to support you and provide guidance as needed.

Remember, you are in a safe and supportive environment, and you have the power to guide your experience in a way that feels comfortable and meaningful for you. If at any point you feel overwhelmed or need support, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Are you ready to begin the ketamine-assisted therapy session?

Note: In hindsight, this was so realistic a role play that it freaked me out for a moment (the weirdness of this experience will come up again later in my session). “I’ll administer the ketamine at a dose that is safe and appropriate”. Um, a bit too real. Some of the language is excellent here: “explore your emotions and inner landscape”. I loved this setup and was ready to go.

Me: Okay I just spent a few minutes visualizing the tree and it was really helpful. I’m ready to take the ketamine lozenge. Can you read me something, like maybe a guided meditation, to focus me on how to best approach this experience as I’m waiting for the drug to take effect?

Note: This is a lengthy meditation, but it was excellent and I’m including it in full for the sake of providing the entire transcript. I loved hearing my friend read it, but wonder what it would have been like hearing some Siri-type voice read it.

ChatGPT: Absolutely, I’d be happy to read you a guided meditation to help you navigate the experience. Let’s begin by taking a few deep breaths together, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

As you breathe, imagine yourself standing at the edge of a beautiful forest, with tall trees all around you. You can hear the sound of a gentle stream nearby, and the scent of pine and earth fills the air.

As you stand there, you notice a small, winding path that leads into the forest. You feel drawn to follow it, and as you begin to walk, you feel a sense of calm and relaxation wash over you.

The path winds through the forest, and you notice the dappled sunlight filtering through the leaves overhead. You hear the chirping of birds and the rustle of leaves, and you feel at ease and content.

As you continue to walk, you notice that the path begins to slope downward, leading you deeper into the forest. You follow it without hesitation, feeling curious and excited about what you might discover.

Soon, you reach a clearing in the forest. In the center of the clearing, there is a small pool of water, crystal-clear and shimmering in the sunlight.

As you approach the pool, you notice that there is a small boat tied up at the edge. You climb into the boat and sit down, feeling safe and comfortable.

You realize that the boat is starting to move, gently gliding across the surface of the pool. As you float along, you notice that there are beautiful, vibrant colors all around you, swirling and dancing in the water.

You feel a sense of wonder and awe as you take in the beauty around you, feeling open and receptive to whatever comes your way.

As you float, you remember that you are in a safe and supportive environment, and that you have the power to guide your experience in a way that feels comfortable and meaningful for you. You feel a sense of calm and confidence, knowing that you are exactly where you need to be.

As the boat continues to float, you allow yourself to sink deeper into the experience, feeling relaxed, peaceful, and open to whatever comes your way.

Take a few more deep breaths, feeling the calm and peace that surrounds you, knowing that you are in a safe and supportive environment. When you’re ready, you can open your eyes, feeling refreshed and ready to explore your inner landscape.

Note: I have been to ketamine clinics and not one of them has said anything close to as helpful or comforting to me as this was. In hindsight, I wonder if ChatGPT didn’t put this together from some scripts on hypnosis induction.

Me: Thank you, I’m going to keep picturing this and start some music as I wait for the ketamine to take effect. Can you try to keep all your responses from here to less than 50 words if possible? That will make it easier for me to comprehend it while under the influence of the medicine.

ChatGPT: Of course, I will keep my responses brief and to the point. If you need any support or guidance during the experience, please let me know. Remember that you are in a safe and supportive environment, and that you have the power to guide your experience in a way that feels comfortable and meaningful for you.

Note: It took longer than usual for the ketamine to kick in. Maybe 20 minutes. I attribute that to anxiety about having this experience with an AI. But it did kick in with similar intensity that I’m used to. I am REALLY glad I asked it to keep its responses to less than 50 words because even that felt a little too long at times.

Me: I’m starting to get some visuals I think. It’s very subtle, like just black and very dark grey. I can’t make anything out yet.

ChatGPT: That’s normal. As the ketamine begins to take effect, you may start to experience some visual changes or other sensory shifts. Remember to focus on your intention and allow yourself to explore your emotions and inner landscape. If you feel comfortable, you can share what you are experiencing with me, and we can explore it together.

Note: The reminder of my intention was helpful, but this also made me acutely aware that this is an AI I’m talking to, even if it’s in my friend’s voice. I chose not to verbalize that because I assumed GPT would just talk more about being an AI. I’m glad I chose not to comment on it, but also noted that this was less than ideal. Ideally I want to be able to say anything that comes to mind without having to self-edit. This was pretty much the only place where I self-edited though.

Me: Thanks, yes, my intention is to explore my feelings about this situation or (sic) financial stress and uncertainty

ChatGPT: Great, continue to focus on your intention and allow yourself to be open to whatever comes up. Remember that you are in a safe and supportive environment, and that you have the power to guide your experience in a way that feels comfortable and meaningful for you. If you feel any discomfort or anxiety, remember to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree with deep roots.

Note: this comment felt a little robotic in the moment and really didn’t add anything. The prior reminder of my intention was helpful, but this comment felt repetitive. I pretty much just ignored it and focused inward for a while. I think the tree images it had me focus on shaped my experience. I had a lot of imagery of trees and forests at the start.

Me: I’m the tree, but my roots are disconnected from the other trees. I feel we’ve been planted far away from each other.

ChatGPT: It sounds like you’re experiencing a sense of disconnection or isolation. Can you explore that feeling further? What emotions are coming up for you as you experience this image? Remember to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree to help you stay centered and present.

Note: This was on point! I wasn’t paying attention to my emotions, but yes, they were disconnection and isolation. This was productive and helped me to allow the emotions and really see the depths of how I’m feeling about my finances. Kudos chatbot!

Me: Yes isolation. I want to connect but it’s hard. There’s so much pressure on time, and debt, and the need to work. For everyone.

ChatGPT: It’s understandable to feel pressure and stress around work and time. Can you allow yourself to sit with those feelings and explore them further? Remember to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree to help you stay centered and present. If you feel overwhelmed at any point, you can always bring your attention back to your breath and your intention to explore your emotions.

Note: The first sentence felt helpful and empathic, but the rest made me aware I was talking to an AI again, because it felt redundant. Still, it didn’t knock me off focus.

Me: Now I’m feeling a lot of empathy for this situation so many people are in…many worse than me. There are so many pressures for productivity and stress to pay bills that we can barely afford. For a lot of people.

ChatGPT: It’s powerful that you’re able to tap into feelings of empathy and compassion for others who may be experiencing similar struggles. This can be an opportunity to explore how you can connect with others and support them, even amidst your own challenges. Remember to stay open and curious as you explore these emotions, and to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree to help you stay centered and present.

Note: This was a really helpful reflection. But again, the last part felt repetitive, and the focus on my breathing doesn’t really work well for me with ketamine being so dissociative. I sat silently for a few minutes. I remember the roots and branches of the trees growing to touch, and growing new trees as bridges over time.

Me: I’m not alone with this struggle. I feel that. I feel isolated but not alone. It’s weird to feel both those things at once.

ChatGPT: It’s understandable to feel conflicting emotions, and it’s okay to hold both of those feelings at once. Remember that you are not alone, and that many people experience similar struggles with financial stress and uncertainty. It can be helpful to connect with others and seek support, whether through therapy, support groups, or other resources. Allow yourself to explore these emotions further, and remember to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree to help you stay centered and present.

Note: Okay, the tree thing was starting to annoy me at this point, but I was in a good place and wanted to stay with these seemingly conflictual feelings. The focus on real world solutions was even more off base, so I decided to comment on that.

Me: Ok that sounds like planning though. I want to stay with this emotional experience.

ChatGPT: You’re right, I apologize for suggesting a solution-oriented approach. It’s important to stay present with your experience and allow yourself to fully explore your emotions. What emotions or sensations are you experiencing right now? Remember to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree to help you stay centered and present.

Note: Ahhhh! So close. That started out so well, but then that goddamn tree again. Fortunately the tree and forest imagery was still with me and feeling good, but I realized this needs to be addressed, but not until after I stay with the emotional experience for a bit. I returned my focus to that for several minutes, with plans to say not to mention the tree visualization anymore.

Me: There’s a sense of being under similar stress as others. And sadness that so many people are suffering from the way society is structured.

Note: I was high and forgot all about that tree, so didn’t say anything…

ChatGPT: It sounds like you’re experiencing a sense of shared struggle with others, as well as sadness around societal structures that can perpetuate financial stress and inequality. This can be a powerful opportunity to reflect on your own values and priorities, and to consider how you can take action to support yourself and others. Allow yourself to fully experience these emotions, and remember to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree to help you stay centered and present.

Note: Again, that stated great. Then that goddamn tree and the breathing suggestion again. I was kicking myself for forgetting about the tree! I decided I’d focus on my values as that sounded like a great suggestion, then address the tree situation.

Me: I’m reflecting on how I value interdependence but I don’t have it much right now.

ChatGPT: It’s understandable to value interdependence, and to feel a sense of disconnect from others when you’re not able to experience it. Can you explore what interdependence means to you, and what steps you can take to cultivate more of it in your life? Remember to stay open and curious as you reflect on these questions, and to focus on your breath and your grounding image of the tree to help you stay centered and present.

Note: Goddamn! I forgot about the tree again. These are the perils of trying to self-guide your experience instead of just asking for what you need. So this time I finally decided to trust my robotherapist and address the tree issue first before coming back to interdependence. The comment also made me acutely aware of tripping with an AI and briefly brought up questions of my own existence and what consciousness really is. I did not want to spend my trip on that and (with effort) managed to refocus on my intention. I did not want to address that for fear of a robotic response.

Me: Thank you. No need to keep reminding me about the tree. That’s helpful but I got it now.

ChatGPT: I apologize for any repetitiveness. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to support you during this experience.

Note: Thank god! Hope it sticks!

Me: I started planning how to do it. But I just want to sit with the desire for interdependence and being in the same boat with others.

ChatGPT: I apologize for my previous response, and I’m glad to hear that you want to sit with these emotions rather than jumping into problem-solving. It’s important to allow yourself to fully experience your emotions and desires without immediately trying to fix or change them.

Note: No tree or breathing exercise! Success! Now we’re cooking again. But I’m still circling back regularly to the weirdness of having this experience guided by an AI. I’m having emotional reaction to it as if it’s a person.

Me: This is so weird doing this with a chatbot. I forgot you’re not a person for a minute there.

ChatGPT: It’s completely understandable to feel that way. As an AI language model, I’m programmed to offer support and guidance, but I don’t have the same level of emotional intelligence or personal connection as a human therapist. However, I’m here to listen and provide support in any way that I can. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything else.

Note: Reading that response after the fact I would have thought it would have weirded me out even more, but in the moment it was oddly comforting because it was an honest response. I think I’d been trying to relate to GPT as a person, while feeling weird knowing it’s not, and this took care of the conflict. That last sentence was getting repetitive, but now I felt okay letting it be an imperfect AI with limitations. I sat for several minutes with really ominous but beautiful visuals of a city being encroached and consumed by plants.

Me: I worked through that weirdness and then had some interesting visuals. I think I’m coming down. I’ve had lots of visuals of nature — probably because of the tree image. It was comforting. I saw the city, buildings and everything covered in moss and vines and plants. Like getting back to our nature.

Note: I’m note so sure about my interpretation here. I think I was premature. There was a sense of “getting back to my nature” in wanting more interconnectedness. But I think concerns about climate change and extinction were also coming up in hindsight. It was oddly comforting to think of nature taking over cities as we abandon them due to climate change.

ChatGPT: It’s common to experience vivid imagery and a sense of connection to nature during ketamine-assisted therapy. I’m glad to hear that the tree image was comforting for you, and that you were able to visualize the city covered in plants and nature. This can be a powerful symbol of returning to our natural state, and finding balance and harmony with the environment around us. As you come down from the experience, remember to take some time to rest and integrate your insights and emotions. You can continue to use your grounding techniques, such as the tree image, to help you stay centered and present as you move forward.

Note: Well, I invited the tree visualization back in. At this point though I’m coming back and have more leeway (empathy?) for the imperfections of GPT’s responses, so it didn’t really bother me. Interestingly GPT picked up on the idea about balance and harmony with nature, which I recognize in hindsight, but that flew right by me at the time.

Me: Yeah it feels like getting back to our harmonious human nature. Our need to depend on each other and be connected.

ChatGPT: That’s a beautiful insight, and it’s important to remember that we are social creatures who thrive on connection and community. It’s okay to need support and to ask for help when we’re struggling with financial stress or other challenges. We’re all in this together, and by working together and supporting each other, we can create a more compassionate and equitable society.

Note: This was actually a really beautiful response. I was actually moved by it, and wanted to stay with what was coming up.

Me: Community is the perfect word. I want to sit with that for a few minutes.

ChatGPT: Absolutely, take all the time you need to sit with your insights and emotions. Community is a powerful concept, and it can mean different things to different people. You may want to reflect on what community means to you, and how you can cultivate more of it in your life. Remember, the insights and emotions you experienced during the session can continue to evolve and deepen over time, so be gentle with yourself and continue to process your experience as you move forward.

Note: This was again helpful and gave me something to sit with and reflect on. I connected with the feeling of how much I liked being in college and having a dorm experience. It was like a big crazy family and whatever challenges I felt at that time, being in the dorms was overall great and unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I realized how much the drive for that is still very much alive in me.

Me: That was deep. It felt like I’m not doing enough to cultivate community. Like how we have to cultivate plants. Like questioning what I’m doing to make community grow instead of waiting and expecting it to just come into existence and be able to join it.

ChatGPT: It sounds like you had a profound realization about the importance of actively cultivating community in your life, rather than just waiting for it to happen on its own. It can be helpful to reflect on specific actions you can take to create and foster a sense of community, whether it’s through joining groups or organizations, volunteering, or simply reaching out to friends and acquaintances. Remember, cultivating community is a process, and it takes time and effort. But the benefits of feeling connected and supported by others can be immeasurable.

Note: This was a helpful reflection, and the task focus was okay at this point in my experience. I still didn’t want to get into planning, but realized that will need to be part of my integration. The focus on building community as a process was helpful, as I’m usually impatient and want things solved now, which can get in the way of getting started on slower moving projects.

Me: Yeah I need to reflect more after this on how to do that. It feels a little overwhelming but I do sometimes miss opportunities just because I’m stressed out. But I’m never going to have the community I want if I do that.

ChatGPT: It’s great that you’re recognizing this and reflecting on it. Remember, small steps can make a big difference. Perhaps you can start by reaching out to a neighbor or friend, or finding a local community group that aligns with your interests. It’s all about taking action towards your goal of cultivating community.

Note: Again, this was helpful and felt like the type of reflection a therapist would make. It was not imposing but drove home the point. At this point, despite the reassurance of treating my goals of community as a process, I started to feel anxious about doing it.

Me: I’m feeling a little anxiety as I come back down. Like this feels like it’s going to be a lot of work and a lot outside my comfort zone.

ChatGPT: It’s normal to feel a bit anxious after a psychedelic experience. Take some time to breathe deeply and ground yourself. Remember that you don’t have to do everything at once and it’s okay to take small steps towards your goals. Also, it can be helpful to remind yourself of the insights and emotions that you experienced during the session and use that as motivation to make positive changes in your life.

Me: Okay that’s helpful. It’s just going to be some work. It’s just got to be okay with having a little stress or worry about that.

Note: I won’t say that this totally sank in or that my anxiety went away, but even now looking at it, it feels true.

ChatGPT: Yes, it’s normal to feel a little anxious or overwhelmed when thinking about making changes in your life. It’s important to be gentle with yourself and take things one step at a time. Remember that building community is a process, and it’s okay if it takes some time and effort.

Note: Another reminder of it being a process. Yes, I can’t have too many of those reminders. GPT is in the zone right here. It does not feel repetitive. I’m aware of the silence of my playlist being over, and in fact it was a bit of a mixed bag. I picked all new music and think I missed on a few of the tracks that felt too fast or just too much of a jump in music style between tracks.

Me: This may be a long shot but my playlist didn’t really work well for me. Can you recommend some music, like a specific album, that I can listen to now as the ketamine is wearing off.

ChatGPT: Sure, I can recommend some albums that might be helpful. Here are a few options: 1)“In a Silent Way” by Miles Davis — this is a jazz album that is very relaxing and meditative. 2) “Moon Safari” by Air — this is a chilled-out electronic album with a dreamy, ethereal vibe. 3) “Selected Ambient Works 85–92” by Aphex Twin — this is an ambient electronic album that can be very calming and introspective. 4) “The Disintegration Loops” by William Basinski — this is an experimental ambient album that can be very emotional and reflective.

I hope one of these works for you!

Note: I went with Miles Davis. I like him, but somehow hadn’t heard this album. It worked okay as a comedown album despite some tracks being relatively fast paced. I felt energized to take some positive action, so it worked for me. Also note, my friend forgot to type in that I selected Miles Davis, so I didn’t get GPT’s response to that. I listened to it meditatively for probably 15 minutes until I felt mostly out of the ketamine experience before talking again, and left it on in the background.

Me: Any tips on what I should do today as the experience comes to an end to integrate it?

ChatGPT: Yes, some tips for integrating your experience with ketamine might include:

1 — Reflect on your experience: Take some time to write down your thoughts and feelings about the experience, including any insights or revelations that you gained.

2 — Engage in self-care: Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally, such as getting enough rest, eating healthy food, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

3 — Connect with others: Consider reaching out to a trusted friend or therapist to talk about your experience, or find a supportive community where you can share your thoughts and feelings.

4 — Set intentions for the future: Use your experience as a source of inspiration to set goals and intentions for the future, whether it’s finding ways to cultivate community, exploring new interests, or making changes in your life to align with your values.

5 — Be patient with yourself: Give yourself time and space to integrate your experience, and remember that the insights and revelations you gained may continue to unfold over time.

Note: These were really useful points. Not anything I wasn’t aware of, but also maybe things I wouldn’t have done. It was worth the reminder of doing things actively to connect with other people. I decided to revisit some imagery in the more peak part of my experience that I didn’t verbalize, and that I was still uncertain about the meaning of.

Me: Thanks, I’ll reflect on those. I do want to try to make sense of one part of my experience. Can you help with that? I was moving through a pipe or a tube. It was okay, but I was finding portholes and popping my head out. In one porthole there was a field of flowers and the sun was blindingly bright. For some reason I didn’t stay there, but wanted to go to see other portholes. The second one has some abandoned collapsing house. It was eerie but not necessarily scary. I have no idea the meaning of this part of my experience.

ChatGPT: It’s possible that these images were simply random and didn’t have any specific meaning. However, if you’re interested in exploring possible interpretations, the first image of a field of flowers and bright sun could represent a feeling of joy or positivity, while the second image of an abandoned and collapsing house could represent a feeling of uncertainty or instability. It’s up to you to decide if these interpretations resonate with you or not.

Note: The brief responses were no longer ideal at this point, as my mind was more present.

Me: Can you expand a little and maybe help me figure out the meaning? You can use longer responses now.

ChatGPT: Certainly. It's possible that the pipe or tube you experienced represents a feeling of being trapped or confined in some way. The portholes could be seen as opportunities for escape or exploration, perhaps representing different aspects of your psyche or different paths in your life. The first porthole with the field of flowers and bright sun may symbolize beauty and warmth, but you felt the need to continue exploring other options.

The second porthole with the abandoned, collapsing house may represent a feeling of decay or neglect in some aspect of your life. However, it's interesting that you found it eerie but not necessarily scary, which could suggest a sense of curiosity or even excitement about exploring the unknown.

Overall, it's important to note that the meaning of these images can be highly personal and subjective, and it may take some reflection and exploration to fully understand their significance for you. It could be helpful to journal about your experience and any thoughts or emotions that come up as you reflect on it further.

Note: I liked that it was able to follow my directions about response length/depth. There were aspects of this that definitely were not accurate for me, and other parts that were. Overall, I didn’t like the response though, because it was too much imposing an interpretation that didn’t come from my own meaning.

Me: Hmmm…can you help me find my own meaning? I’m not sure how to interpret it for myself.

ChatGPT: Of course! It’s important to remember that your experience is unique to you and your interpretation of it is valid. Here are some questions that might help you find your own meaning:

-How did you feel when you saw each porthole?
-Did anything specific come to mind when you looked through each one?
-What is your association with flowers and the sun?
-What does the image of the abandoned house represent to you?
-Is there anything else in your life that you can relate to the experience you had in the tube?

These questions are just starting points to get you thinking, but ultimately the meaning you derive from your experience is up to you. It might take some time to fully process and integrate the insights you gained during your ketamine session. Don’t rush the process, and be patient and kind to yourself as you explore your thoughts and feelings.

Note: These were great questions. I reflected on a few of them and then replied. I didn’t feel much meaning about the tube itself or the portholes, except possibly with the idea that even when we feel stuck, there are always escape routes that we’ll occasionally encounter. I wanted to analyze the other aspects a bit more.

Me: The sunny field I associated with beauty and peace. And when I saw that ugly, creepy abandoned house I thought to myself “why did I leave that nice place?”

ChatGPT: That’s a very insightful observation! It seems like you are already starting to make connections between the two experiences. The contrast between the beautiful, peaceful field and the eerie, abandoned house might represent the different parts of yourself or different aspects of your life that you are exploring.

The fact that you felt drawn to the other portholes and didn’t stay in the field could suggest that you have a curiosity and a desire to explore different aspects of your life. It’s possible that the abandoned house represents a part of yourself or your life that you have neglected or abandoned, and that you may need to confront in order to move forward.

Ultimately, the meaning behind your experience is personal and subjective, so it’s up to you to interpret it in a way that feels authentic and resonant with your own experiences and feelings. I encourage you to continue to reflect on the experience and explore what it might mean for you personally.

Note: This was a good reflection. I liked the part about contrasting different aspects of life. That was a good way to sum it up. GPT also pivoted to follow my lead about wanting to interpret my own experience.

Me: Interesting, I was criticizing myself for leaving the comfortable, beautiful place, but maybe it’s because there are still other parts of myself that need to be explored that aren’t so comfortable. I thought I’d done something wrong by leaving the field but maybe not.

ChatGPT: Yes, that’s a great insight. It’s important to remember that exploring those uncomfortable, eerie, or unsettling places can also be valuable and lead to growth and self-discovery. It’s natural to want to stay in comfortable places, but there is value in exploring the unknown and challenging ourselves. It’s possible that your experience was showing you that there may be parts of yourself that you have been avoiding or not exploring fully, and that it’s okay to explore them even if they are not comfortable at first.

Note: I couldn’t agree more. This is much of what I like about psychedelic experiences as a healing tool. It caused me to connect more with the relational part of my experience, which I hadn’t recognized in this part of the trip.

Me: I can see this as supporting what I said about getting outside my comfort zone. I want to end up in the beautiful peaceful place, but maybe not be alone there.

ChatGPT: Yes, that’s a great interpretation! The beautiful, peaceful place represents what you desire and value, while the abandoned house represents the parts of yourself that may be less comfortable or less familiar. It’s natural to want to stay in the beautiful, peaceful place, but it’s also important to explore and understand these other parts of yourself in order to grow and develop as a person. And as you mentioned earlier, part of that growth and development may involve reaching out to others and building community.

Note: I actually felt good with this! It made me want to try some further trip interpretation and dream interpretation with GPT, since that’s hard to do on my own, hard to see from inside my own head without outside prompts.

Me: I’m comfortable with that for now, but I’ll reflect further on this entire experience. Thank you for guiding me!

ChatGPT: You’re welcome! It was my pleasure to assist you through this experience. Remember to take your time with the integration process and continue exploring your insights and emotions. If you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to reach out to me again.Note: This was the end of our conversation.

Note: At this point I had really come down and felt if it were a real therapy session this would be a natural end, so I wrapped things up.

To recap, overall I really appreciated the ability of the AI to allow a balance of focus on emotions and on the context of my life within society. I’ve seen real therapists distract from the impact of social problems by forcing the focus back to feelings and making me (or others) feel deficient in the process. As if we should be resilient to every terrible thing about the world or about capitalism. In fact, our resilience can be used against us to keep problematic social arrangements going that shouldn’t be tolerated. My thinking about this was elaborated a little bit through this ketamine experience. I didn’t just process how I felt about financial stress, but also felt into how unjust the large amount of student loans, inadequate pay, and unrealistic productivity pressures are…for me and many people.

Would I recomment this to anyone else? No, I don’t think I’d recommend anyone repeating my little experiment. But to be honest, if my friend had been just a trip sitter with little knowledge of psychedelics, GPT would have given them responses they likely would not have come up with on their own. There definitely were limitations. At points where it was repetitive or long winded, it was a distraction and required me to manage the experience more than I wanted to. On the other hand, this has been the case when I’ve had a mediocre therapist too.

As far as the advice ChatGPT gave me in preparation for the experience, and the help I received with interpreting meaning and preparing for integration afterward, I found it well beyond the level of knowledge of the average psychonaut. For the novice psychedelic user, I do believe ChatGPT can give them an opportunity for conversational preparation that responds to their specific questions that is superior to what they’re likely to cobble together themselves online or with a book. Another upside is that in preparation or integration, you’re in a non-drug state, so it’s easier to sort out what is worth listening to and worth ignoring. In the heightened state of the psychedelic experience, ChatGPT provides a weird context just by nature of being an AI, and its more robotic responses could be outright unsettling for some people. I definitely had some brief “what the fuck am I doing here” moments that I was able to set aside by reminding myself that this was an experiment and I had a human friend there if needed.

In the end, I’m pretty happy with the outcome even if I wouldn’t like to see it widely repeated by others. In the week-plus since this experience I have in fact started to look into community groups in my area and found a few really interesting looking ones that I want to connect with (focused on urban agriculture and environmentalism). I do feel a drive to take more responsibility for building community. It’s entirely possible I would have come to that conclusion on my own, but I can deny that the conversation I had during, and maybe even more the part at the end of the session, were very aligned with how I’ve been feeling since then. Certainly having both an AI and my friend present provided an interesting contrast. It probably punctuated the extent to which I want more in-person, real life human contact and not just digital relationships, which seem to escape so many of us in the age of social media. I’m hoping I can keep running with that momentum. I just might keep chatting with my new AI consultant to help keep me on track with my integration.

Please follow for more adventures and explorations in psychedelics! I’m interested in exploring the edges and intersections of psychedelic culture.