Put down the bucket. Fill the hole.
Imagine yourself sailing on a boat across the Pacific ocean. All of sudden you realize that the boat is filling up with water. Upon inspection, you find the cause. There is a hole on the bottom of the boat.
Knee deep in the water that’s rapidly filling up the boat, you lament to yourself that you can’t believe you let it get this far without noticing.
First you panicked. Then you bitched. Now you are ready to take action. After all, who wants to drown in the middle of the ocean? Not cool.
So what do you do? You pick up a bucket and start scooping the water out of the boat, as fast as you can. It seems to be working because you are able to scoop out the water faster than it’s flowing in through the hole. Oh wait. You were mistaken. But you keep at it anyway.
Eventually the boat sinks and you sink too. Then it hits you like a mother lovin’ lightening. You should have plugged the hole! Oh well. Too late. Maybe in the next life time, you will learn to fix the actual problem rather than to frantically working on the surface symptoms.
The majority of the daily troubles that we experience, especially the persistent ones, are the symptoms of the deeper issues that need to be handled.
For example, if you have a difficulty talking to women, as in you can never get up the courage to talk to the cute girls you see, the real problem isn’t necessarily that you can’t talk to cute girls. It’s something else. It’s something deeper. One cause could be lack of self worth. You may not feel good about yourself. You may even hate yourself. You may feel like you don’t matter, even to yourself.
If you are like the lot of lonely guys, you may watch videos upon videos of dating coaches teaching guys how to pick up girls. You may even folk up a huge sum of money to attend a seminar. You may learn a thing or two. You may even manage to talk to the cutie barista at the coffee shop you frequent. But soon you go back to your old ways.
Why? You neglected to work on the real problem. You resorted to the quick fix. You have to learn to distinguish the difference between the core issue and the surface symptoms that are created by the core issue. Then you have to tackle the core issue, no matter how tempting it is do otherwise. Put down the bucket. Fill up the hole.