A letter to my friend..
I imagine you’d be surprised by this because one doesn’t write to an imaginary friend. And surely doesn’t expect to read them.
Well you are my best friend and even though this letter might not reach to you I took the liberty of writing it to you because I have always imagined you to be caring and just hope that even if there are slightest chance of reaching this letter to you, you’d care.
How are you doing, by the way?
I wanted to tell you that you have been a good friend. You are pretty awesome, you know. Black long silky hair, dark eyes, those red nail polish, grey t-shirt and black pants. Plus always a smiley face. Looks great on you!!
I wanted to write stuff share thing with you for a long time. How real world feels like you know.
Reality isn’t very fun.
I prefer illusions though I know I am never really there. There is so much more to the imagination because you can’t see them and it more amazing than that what’s really there.
I like staring at the ceiling of my room. I do that often. After I come home from college. Or when I am bored. I like to imagine things, paint the white ceilings into a colorful imaginations that float in my head. Or sometimes I just go blank, stare at the ceiling for no reason at all. Perfect way to pass your lonely time…
Sometimes when I am online in the ‘real’ world and I say “Goodnight” to ‘real’ people and go offline, I usually stay late after that just staring at the ceilings.
You know I have this crush at my college. She’s so beautiful I can hardly keep my eyes off her whenever I see her. And she’s always smiling just like you. I hope you have a crush too, my friend.
I usually imagine having conversations with her in my head.
Not that I don’t talk to her in real but not in a way I want to.
One conversation went like this:
She: So what gift do you want for your birthday?
Me: hmm….. YOU!!
She: Aww… I was thinking of giving the same thing..
Haha…… Crazy isn’t it? I laughed at myself you know. Haha..because the reality is just sad.
I like her a lot. But she can’t see me.
You know the rest of the story. You know what I mean don’t you? Haha…
People in the ‘real’ world really don’t know me . If they knew me, they’ll surely think I’m crazy. But they won’t just know how crazy I am until they meet you.
Sometimes, I put a reminder email for me. I act like I am surprised to see who sent it. Haha.. I am too crazy….
Am I not insane? But it’s almost as sad as it’s crazy.
Also, I like talking to myself you know. Self-talking relaxes me. Consoles me. Cheers me up. Befriends me. I get zoned out in the middle of the conversation with REAL people and it feels awesome.
It’s not that I am all alone in the real world.. Ha-ha.. Don’t think of that my friend. I have some pretty awesome REAL friends too…
Too few. Yes. But they are REAL.
They all exist in my reality although they have their own that they live in.
Oh well, it’s okay!
That doesn’t matter.
The important thing is that I have you.
As Thomas Moore says-
“We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.”
And I thank you my friend for being that person. Even though you are imaginary, we always have been having real conversations. You have been here for me when no one else has. I can’t really top that. You are my best friend.
I love you, Imaginary Friend.
Your “Real” Friend.