Purpose of Life?

purpose of life…

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

Whole of my ‘awakened’ life, this quote by Ralph Emerson has made me restless to the extent that my belief in external happiness is forever gone…

What is happiness, by the way? Let me try to understand happiness with the prism of success as many people think that success is happiness… I used to think that too. Not anymore!

I have seen happiness in the smiles of people partying on the stylish Italian restaurant with glass of their favourite wine — yes sure, they do look happy!

I have also seen happiness in the pride of people when they achieve marvellous results in an important office project. Seen happiness on people’s face when they buy that brand new SUV or that lavish penthouse on the top-floor…

My journey starts with the understanding of this ‘Pursuit of Happiness’. Nothing less, nothing more…

People who think they knew me well; back in the year 2005 — told me one same thing, all the time. “You know, you can achieve more; just try to bring more focus”. I used to think why I need more. I was happy with my miserable life and a career which was like that pale yellow kite hanging on the top of a street pole waiting for a wave of strong wind to push and then slide into nowhere. God only knew, where and how the kite will land.

I worked as an Assistant Architect in New Delhi. Happiness, was all I ever aspire for. Somehow, I wanted to be extremely rich. Because for me, money buys Happiness. Money was happiness.

Moreover, having experienced miserable poverty and having to wait for the tiniest joys, my thoughts always revolved around how and when I will be able to buy a brand new car, and be able to wear branded clothes, and run my own office and so on and so forth. I used to day-dream about having my own office and be able to give orders to my junior staff.

One day, I would dream about how the guys in my office envy of my new Sedan. Another day, I would dream of wearing a black suit and tie — ordering my staff to adhere to the deadlines of an important project.

One good thing about dreams, which I have realised now, is that you can be anybody. Absolutely Anybody! Dreams are like waves of thoughts in a
 mind running at different wavelengths. If you like, you can choose the waves and alter the wavelengths to suit you.

Ever wonder, why in a dream, you encounter somebody you thought about; just yesterday. The subconscious mind, captures that memory; like a movie shot by a camera and store the images in the memory of subconscious mind. The conscious mind work all day for you; choose wisely and work in-tandem with the subconscious mind and create dreams. All you need to do is, to have good thoughts throughout the day, so that you end up having dreams of your choice.

If you want, you could practise being a versatile actor while you’re dreaming. You could drive that brand new Mercedes which you saw yesterday on HBO. Or was that Audi? Oh yes, Jason S tatham always drives the Audi…

See? You could change this in your thoughts; and that does not cost a cent.

Years went by, but I still remained a mediocre middle class boy with tonnes of unfulfilled dreams. And by then, this feeling gradually began to frustrate me.

One morning, I woke up with an estranged dream. I was reminded of a real life sequence. My mind was not able to accept that it was an actual dream. It straightly and purposefully declined my offer to remind it, that it was just a bad dream. But how? I practised myself how to control my own dreams…

In the dream, I was seen seeking mercy from a yellow giant figure — resembling possibly from the ‘asuras’ of Ramayana — pleading that I will remember this time and that, it will not happen again. The yellow giant figure was not in the mood of listening. It said, “No, this was not the first time. We gave that opportunity to you previously too. And you ruined it.”

The dream did not made sense to my conscious mind. But, my subconscious mind was restless.

I knew I could control my dreams — drive that favourite Sedan, impress the most beautiful girl, achieve the most steepest target at office. But why can’t this dream. What was so unique about this particular dream?

I had to look for the answers as my ‘superficial’ ability to see my favourite dreams was ceased. I could no longer dream about my favourite topics. Whenever I would dream, I dreamed the same.

Surely, this was killing me from inside. My, one and only, way of happiness was getting bleak. I was tensed. The food became tasteless, nights became sleepless and I started to get more and more depressed each passing day.

One night, when I returned home from office, I saw a book lying on my dining table. The colour of the book was light yellow; and in the background, there was picture of a man standing in front of a huge mountain… (to be continued)

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