Humans are fairly simple creatures. Most of us want success, health, wealth, love and happiness. When it comes down to it, what do all of our most homogenous desires have in common? They all lead to happiness (or so we hope). For Example, you could make the claim that you want to be successful because you want to provide for your family, but providing for your family probably makes you happy. Or you want to build wealth to retire early — which in turn would make you happy. Anyway you look at it, the majority of our decisions are based around that which will make us happy.
I’m no different. About 4 years ago my life wasn’t headed in the direction I had envisioned. I was working an entry level sales role at a company that I didn’t truly believe in. I was living in Scottsdale, Arizona surrounded by fake people and surface level friends. My idea of happiness was going out to clubs and drinking to the point of no recollection. My life had little purpose, no direction and the only thing that really made me “happy” was drinking. You know it’s bad when you’re relying on substance for happiness. Needless to say, things weren’t working out.
That’s when I decided to seek help, not your typical help like seeing a therapist or talking to family… that would’ve been too easy. Instead I did some research online, watched countless ted talks, seeked out the happiest people I knew and read books on happiness. Through all of this research I found plenty of tips and strategies, many of which I tried, but the ones with the biggest impact are listed below:
3 Tips to a Happier Life
Gratitude
Gratitude in this day and age is hardly talked about. It’d be easy to shift the blame on millennials or media or technology. While there is merit to the stereotype that millennials are ungrateful, the media is predominantly negative and technology has made us lazier; that doesn’t mean we don’t have things to be grateful for.
What happened to being thankful for waking up? That didn’t have to happen! (according to answers.com, nearly 10% of the US population will die in their sleep). What happened to being grateful for arms and legs? You’re blessed! (According to the Amputee Coalition of America, there are nearly 2 million American amputees). What happened to appreciating air-conditioning? Keep your cool. (According to NY Times, In the US nearly 90% of households have air-conditioning, while in some of the hottest countries on the planet like Asia and Africa only 8% of the population owns an air-conditioner).
I know these are extreme but next time you find yourself unhappy, you need to stop and take a moment to indulge in what you do have. I’ve been fortunate to grow up in a Mexican household as a U.S. Citizen. This has given me perspective. Compared to my cousins and relatives growing up in Mexico, my life is a cakewalk. It doesn’t take much of an imagination to get an idea of the differences in culture and quality of life.
Whenever I’m feeling down, a sure way to change my mood is by looking at the things that I do have and thinking about how happy my cousins would be to have my problems. Don’t take my word for it though, if you’re lacking perspective — take a trip to Guatemala or Mexico… (or any country less fortunate). You’ll come back grateful. Be thankful and grateful for what you have, chances are if you’re reading this you have more to be happy about than you think. There are a million things to be grateful for, scan the world for the good.
Pro tip: Keep a gratitude journal. I use the Five Minute Journal but you can literally just use a piece of paper to jot down 3 things that you’re grateful for. I tried an experiment with my sales team at work where I had them email me 3 things that they were grateful for every morning and 3 things that would make their day great. In the month that we started this exercise, we set the Sales record in our office, and continued to set records for most revenue closed in a day and total percentage to quota the following months. In other words, we had our best and most productive months when we were focusing on the things we were grateful for.
Relax
Piggy backing off the previous point, I find that when I focus on what I’m grateful for I can’t help but relax. Once you realize things aren’t as bad as you’re making them out to be, you can focus on the good. From there it’s not hard to relax. I once read that most of the problems that we worry about and overanalyze never actually end up happening. So one mantra that I live by is:
We’ll cross that bridge when we get there
It makes no sense to fret over things that have yet to happen, and probably won’t! Whenever you catch yourself jumping to conclusions or losing your cool there’s a few questions to ask that can lead you to relaxation:
- Will I remember this in a week? (chances are you won’t… I don’t even remember what I had for lunch 3 days ago)
- Is losing my composure helping the situation? (I’ll answer this one for you, no)
- Is this life or death? (most of the time this will be a no)
I find that these questions get me to realize that I’m taking the situation way too seriously.
Side note: I realize that this point doesn’t actually tell you what to do to relax, only how to get to a point where you can relax. Relaxation to you may mean something totally different than it does to me. The point is to do something that calms you, something that you enjoy doing. Something that makes you forget about the issue itself, forget all about work, your significant other (if they’re the cause of stress), or money. Whatever the problem, something that you can lose yourself in.
Laugh
Lastly but definitely not least, what would a happy life be without laughter? Have you ever looked back at a time in your life and just laughed at your past self? Have you ever heard the phrase:
One day we’ll laugh about this
Remind yourself about these phrases next time you’re going through a rough patch or just feeling unhappy. Because the truth is, one day you will laugh about it. While I have no idea about your sense of humor or what you find funny, I know we can all laugh about is our 15, 20 and 25 year old selves. Find things and people that make you laugh and surround yourself with them.
To summarize
Just live, laugh, love. Just kidding. I realize these 3 tips I use to stay happy are all over the internet. But I hope to serve as a reminder to those of you who have forgotten. It’s your life, you only get one. Might as well live it to the happiest.
