Shields Up

You believe I was put on earth to tempt you with everything you couldn’t have. But maybe it was so you could know what we all could be capable of, if only you were brave enough to reach for it. We were never farther than an arm’s length apart, the distance that everyone joked that I kept them at. Only the chosen few could breach the borders and shields in place. But all my encrypted titanium vacuum seal doors opened to your whispered passwords.

I should know better. You were never good at getting yourself what you needed. You had too much fun embroiling yourself in the web of circumstances, trapping yourself into inescapable mazes. That way, you didn’t have to be the one to find the way nor the courage to stand by my side.

I imagined that you loved me for my intelligence. You but wanted to reflect off of my brilliance. I imagined that you were the sun. You were just a satellite looking for the light illuminating even the shadows that fell behind me.

You could never be content with me in your heart, mind and soul, could you? All you wanted was an idol to worship from afar.

A porcelain decoration up on the mantel, out of reach of grubby little boy hands, something unattainable, not the fallible, fanciful human girl you found before yourself.