Helplessness in close relationships
Preeti Sood, many thanks for raising such an important point. Yes, you are absolutely correct. If having difficult relationships within the close family, then you are sure to face feelings of helplessness frequently, even when trying your best to change yourself.
Besides, such feelings may often chase you like a shadow. It is difficult to lose them easily. However if you start practicing a meditative procedure on a daily basis then gradually 5 changes start following:
1. You start gaining mental strength.
2. As a result you start commanding a much better control over yourself.
3. Plus you are able to spot patterns in other people’s behaviors / habits.
4. Then with this new awareness you are able to decide your course of action.
5. Eventually you also find a way to form positive connections with other like-minded friends via healthy hobbies etc.
Basically, in managing such relationships everything boils down to strength of the mind. If the mind is strong, it will be able to find practical ways to handle all types of challenges. Otherwise you are sure to feel constrained, repeatedly.
The other skill that needs to be learned is to stop the mind from going down the negative stream of thoughts. This happens especially when you are surrounded by too many differently-natured-people.
Here, extremely practical steps have to be adopted to dilute the stress. For example, when facing a stress situation:
1. Go out for a walk.
2. Go take a bath / wash your face.
3. Switch on some music.
4. Get into doing something positive.
5. Interact with someone who makes you feel positive.
It must always be remembered that difficult family relationship situations have to be handled in a purely practical manner. You cannot change anyone. Plus fighting / arguing also don’t serve any purpose. Therefore two steps:
· Enhancing your mental strength via yogic procedures such as meditation.
· Find a few handy practical methods to fizzle the pressure of helplessness.
Finally, there is a third aspect of this difficult-relationships-management effort. When you strengthen yourself, you also find surprise ideas and opportunities to dilute your various stress situations.
For instance, today I was almost on the verge of falling into the trap of helplessness. Then in the same moment I read the above message. Thereafter in the next instance, mind got busy planning this quick write-up. The result: I escaped and instead ended up doing something positive in the same hour.
This is why I tell everyone that never give-up on yourself, instead continue strengthening your mind with disciplines such as meditation. You don’t know yet what you are capable of handling. That discovery you will make only in the future. So, give yourself a chance.
