self-interest is the only noble cause

man as end to himself, not as means.

obama runs for president not to change the world, not to help heal the sick, not to balance a budget, or end racism. he does so because he wants to do it, because his nature must do it, must express it’s will — because his rational nature wants to run free, because he has come to some rational conclusions about reality and he wants to test them out in real time and needs a lot of nature to do that, the end.

no means to the end. the end. the man is the end onto himself.

there is no such thing as self-sacrifice. no altruism. no good deed. there is only deed. nature doing nature. and when nature is doing nature and not backing up on itself, filling the pipelines with false emotional storyline — nature often has beautiful side effects that do things like cure cancer, stop wars, end racism, write compelling stories and gorgeous music, & a single Facebook status that tells a friend just what they need to hear in a moment.

but nature did it because nature did it. it had to. not to get some expected outcome.

just like the sun shines because it shines. not to give you a tan. not to help harvest your crops.

the sun is nature being nature.

luckily nature is highly attuned to itself and if we stop trying to block nature and force it to change shape, fitting in places it does not belong, like a tiger in a zoo — then it is damn well magic.

nature is magic. not to be magical, but because it is magic.

it is just nature acting itself out. and other nature receives nature’s stimulus and output and generates its own output. and this is all of existence. a well-oiled collective machine that is entirely devoted to and centered around it’s own selfish needs to survive.

obama’s rational self interest lead him to seek the presidency. no altruism, no self-sacrifice. no martyr. his own will-to-power. his way of staying alive. same with the thank you soap guys, same with mother theresa and ghandi. it’s all objectivism. we just call it socialism or capitalism or nihilism.

perceived positive effects of an action, what is often called good deed, altruism, positive progress. . . is mislabeled. it is nature’s natural fallout and logical expression based on the deed done by the self-interested, self-propagating nature, i.e. man.

this is collective conscious. a planet full of awake people, conscious to their self-expressing rational choice to think. or not think. the so-called mindful granola kids are really mindlessly wearing the buddha’s cloak. the collectivists are scared to look at themselves so they say we are all one. none of us need do anything. but we do need to do one thing: we need to be. and in order to be we must exercise our rational ability to process, to think — to engage critically with incoming stimulus. hippies don’t want to be alone, left to think for themselves, left to fend for themselves. they want to feel.

we are expansive. we are individual. we arrive naked and alone and die that way.

the only thing we can do is fuck with the packaging. make objectivism — man’s self-interested pursuits, his unique fractal-ing — be seen for what it is: nature honoring itself.

it isn’t cutthroat. it doesn’t have to be perceived as heartless, aggressive and forceful. romanticize the realism.

self-interest can just make a prettier fractal.

& it will be perceived as collectively bent.

because nature will not be covetous about itself, nature will be, not do in order to rub in one’s face or fit in.

& eventually maybe there will be no perception of self — time and space will collapse on itself and the universe will be one pinprick dot, entirely outside of time. nature’s perception will be one, which is to say will be all; this is the right collective.

honoring the self so much that it folds in on everything else. this is a self-so planet — one understanding its own inevitable devotion to cosmic diversity.

the unavoidably diverse expression in nature being itself is the only inevitable cause.

the one that is ever expanding across the event horizon.

this is all heavy to handle because of one indisputable fact:

life is inherently meaningless.

this meaningless causes dread.

or this meaningless unlocks freedom.

all of existence comes down to how you cope with this one gritty detail:

life is wholly without a built-in purpose.

so we must decide.

it’s the only choice we have to make:

what is a compelling enough meaning to give to life to get my ass out of bed?

some get ass cheek implants and drink champagne, some cling to religion and raising kids, some devote life to accruing power and wealth, some turn to drugs and art and gambling and travel, some recoil into philosophy and a dark apartment. some kill themselves.

but once you accept all of it. once you welcome it all in — you accept the totality of everything . . . once every goddamn thing is yes. every religion. every human’s choiceless choice. once we wake to the understanding that everything happening in our perceived reality is nature busily working away processing the relentless meaningless underpinning it all…

then you are free.

only then can you sit with the cold fact of death, of inherent nothingness, and truly derive sunshine and goddamn double rainbows. only then do you find the will to dance in the street.

by accepting the partially overcast gray as more than necessity for the rainbow. it is as is as the rainbow.

all nature is. beyond, before, inside of — all else.

it’s unavoidable. the key is to accepting it into your bone.

that light needs dark. on needs off. life needs death. time needs space. love needs heartache. beauty needs ugly.

until it doesn’t anymore. until it collapses and becomes one. which may never actually happen, so let’s spend less time talking about it.

the only hope is to follow your nature. to give over to it.

this leads to treading lightly. this leads to what we perceive as collective, kind, empathetic. this leads to a world of mirrors where all we see is truth in beauty staring back.

but first comes curiosity.

and fearlessness to undress yourself.

to stand naked under the microscopic probe.

to give way and bend when the winds are too strong to stand upright. why let the ego snap itself? what’s the good of an uprooted tree? paper!

we can only learn nature by observing it. by carving space to explore. to find out. you can’t give over to your true nature until you know your true nature, without the noise of the world. most think they are being themselves and very, very few are one with their curated perception.

they live a delusion. they adorn what they are told to adorn. they dress it up as pretty as pie. and this is glory. an admirable trait. to blindly exist entirely in the molded emulation of one’s neighbor.

a trait second only to accepting the futility of self-expression and still choosing to bop along the burning road towards oblivion anyhow.

to be a sandcastle building sandcastles.

not a robot building someone else’s sandcastle.

it’s all too close to the shore anyhow.

so i choose to dance and make silly voices and travel and learn and compete and grow and experience and fail and look like a goddamn jackass.

i choose to believe in collective consciousness by believing in myself. by being myself. by being a magical unicorn.

in this, i feel the vibration shift. my technology zaps me regularly. my wavelength is a different frequency. children always stare at me, they sense my aura. i get electric shocks daily from things i do not touch. i see things. i feel things.

i have woken up.

and with this i became fearless in facing the inevitable futility.

stop short & you become enslaved by the fear of the inevitable fact that you.will.die.

so some don’t bother to start. this is what the present moment is all about. not thinking about any of it.

rational observation leads one to the irrational reality of a life of nonsense.

it is in this moment one can agree to stop thinking about it forever by living eternally in the now. if one is, then one does not witness the self aging in the flesh, one does not fear death because it does not know death, it does not entertain death, one does not give witness to what the world is doing to itself. one simply decides to exist outside of time altogether.

how much choice do we have? we can choose to let rationality show us it’s all irrational and therefore live a life of irrationality or we can accept the ultimate irrationality of it all in a very rational fashion and be driven to a life of reasoned witnessing.

whether it’s up to us to decide or nature’s will to run her course, i am not sure. perhaps it doesn’t matter. it’s perception. but it seems there is wiggle room. very, very difficult-to-tap-into, far harder to navigate — wiggle room. nearly impossible to stay in. it’s cosmic improv. it requires serious time and effort. it requires space and someone with courage. if it ain’t you, you need someone with courage to feed off regularly until you grow the tiniest bud of fearlessness. once it sprouts a spore, it cannot die. it can wither with a season, but the bravery has birthed.

but it is truly the hardest thing on the planet to do. to breathe into the hopelessness with fearlessness and dare it to dance. say fuck you. i know it’s meaningless. i choose to dicker bop anyway.

that is the single only hope for any man to experience anything both true and holy (i.e. rational, except the one inherently irrational bit at the end, the part where we all die) and without spite and sadness in his heart. all else gives way under microscopic probing of a time slowed to snail.

irrational or rational, we are energy. and energy cannot be destroyed. energy cannot wither and fritter away into dissipation. something cannot disappear into nothing. no matter how long after our physical body decays into the dirt.

death births something.

what that is has been up for great debate since potentially long before the launch of the human race. which may have always been. which may always be. outside of time.

maybe man never did not exist. maybe man is eternal.

certainly energy is eternal.

but did energy morph into man?

if so, certainly energy can morph out of man.

one can live in ignorance and this is a type of bliss.

one can live in truth and this is a type of outrage and alienation.

one can live in truth and train itself on a sort of goldfish, willed-memory-loss ignorance, allowing consciousness to endlessly find joy in a parade of nonsense it knows to be just that: nonsense.

it seems insane.

that one can both understand it is useless and futile — truly, wholly, unfathomably without meaning or purpose and still do cool shit that makes you feel.

this is the buddha. this is the middle way. this is tao.

this is the noblest pursuit man can attain to at this time.

this is the end to suffering. this is the modern monk. this is the degenerate buddha. beyond the cling and grasp. beyond the inherent friction that we’ve all been built a little too close to the shore to avoid the ocean’s inevitable tide.

do to do. do everything. devour everything. try it all. doing becomes being. this comes from the fear in the fearlessness in the face of fearing not fearing the fear of death.

we must wholly live for ourselves, we mustn’t do sacrifice or demand sacrifice be done for us — pure self-fulfillment. self-willed nature moved by rationality spawned in the irrational.

this is the only hope for living a life of reason, purpose, & self-esteem.

to grasp the only altruism comes in honoring the self. let nature take care of the rest. honoring the rational self means not being lead by brute force — means not being lead by that one and only truly irrational impulse reaction.

overcoming this last irrationality means overcoming a will tied up by the animalistic, base pursuit of sex, power, & dominion.

power isn’t rational. power is an emotional response, possibly to materially rational information.

how to access a natural, rational power?

sex is an emotional response, possibly to materially rational information.

how to access natural, rational sex?

the will to hold dominion isn’t rational. dominion is an emotinal response, possibly to materially rational information.

how to access a natural, rational dominion?

it’s what we do with our rationality that defines our life.

man cannot force himself or his will or his values onto another man. all interaction must be a trade — value for value. the moment man pushes his will, he sets emotional demands that he then expects delivery for.

life is best as an open trade of value. you are pretty, i have money; i’ll buy you a drink. you like to talk nietzsche, i like to listen; let’s grab coffee.

but we do not exist in bubbles. we are conditioned. so when this exchange of currencies — financial, social, artistic, philosophical, spiritual bartering — starts taking shape in reality — the dance requires a certain rational grace.

wanting to want because others have or say it is desirable, is the definition of enslavement. it is not rational.

be rational.

why do you want the latest apple computer that just came out? if no one else had the computer, would you want the computer? how much did this computer cost them to make? what does buying their computer do? why should i take into consideration what affects their business practices have on the planet? what questions do i entertain? you can make anything rational.

can you make anything a rational argument?

immersive mirroring. role play therapy. i’ll play the mirror. you play yourself. let’s see what happens.


listen america, you are a mad child. and you are kicking and screaming and trying to make sense of it. the often-lurking, sometimes-silent useless futility of it all. of the inevitability of death. of the knowing all things will die — every relationship will come to an end, every meal will be shit out, every heart will be broken, every war will be fought. he will cheat, she will lie, the children will scream, the soldiers will die. this relationship isn’t built to last. and that is frightening and maddening. because it feels so good. it feels so good. so right. so entirely perfect in this moment. we want that moment. on repeat forever. but that is the ultimate grasp. that is clinging. this is what the buddha warned us about.

but to experience the present moment. this is what the world is doing ricky. people have found the pockets of energy that work. it’s you that is endlessly running around sniffing up trees. we think it’s awesome. it’s so fucking awesome. but it isn’t what we choose to do. we like stability. we like things unfolding as they go. why try so hard? i got shelter, i got friends, i got my job. it’s easy. i do it. like you are doing. my mind is always free no matter what i do. my mind is always mine. we’re all thinking, we’re just not all talking about it. ideas are what matter. new ones.

ok. it’s futile. it’s pointless. we all know it’s dumb and insane. and that’s why we don’t want to keep building and destroying. we want to ride it out with someone we love. we want to get to whatever is on the other side with some peace. some solitude. some of that present moment you’re on about. we got it. we come home to it every night. a familiar loving face. someone who also knows the score. knows what it all amounts to. and you build a family around that. and a community. and a city. and a country. and a world.

we’re doing it. we’re glue just like you. where we get the tackiest is where we stick. it’s ok to find out where you stick. but it’s your go. don’t torment us. we’re all doing the best we can.

share your ideas. your ideas. your good stuff. not the stuff that shits on us. let’s raise each other up. let’s talk ideas. let’s talk vision. not what sucks and got us into this.

life is meaningless. fine.

so give it meaning. or don’t. (an axiom. the don’t isn’t for me.)

what’s the difference?


what is love? this is up for debate.

i cannot run the same cafe for a decade. it’s not my animal stripe. i want to be in the trenches, running the hard wiring through the bones of the structure — can’t be the day-in, day-out person running the maxim.

the narcissist ego in me loves samer putting together clips by himself and unveiling me to myself on screen in beautiful, compelling ways that flood me with memories

the philosopher writes like this…

the film maker creates movies like this. . .

the poet writes prose like this . . .

the photographer snaps moments like this . . .

the candidate helps heal the world like this . . .

the son, brother, friend, neighbor loves his community like this . . .

only talk about the good parts, only write about that. we all know about the rest. let’s quit thinking about it. let’s build from here. i’m gonna dance like a chicken now if that’s alright.

look. i sometimes like the finer stuff in life. and sometimes i like to get things done. then celebrate with the finer things for a year. in avan.


just come back to it. until you don’t need it anymore.

reality exists. all we can do is perceive it. we have no freedom except to think or not think. our mind, our consciousness, our higher self, our god source — is our only gift. the gift of perceiving options, discerning between perceived choices. reason is knowledge. reason is thought. thought is knowledge. this choice dictates all other choice. the first choice — to think or not think — dictates every other action. there is no predestined endings, except everything that follows that first choice: think or don’t. if you don’t think, you feel. feelings are the root. let reason be your guide always — reason is your moral compass and your plans for the evening. reason, deduce — answers await.