When Sh*t Gets Real
Leaving this morning for my HR appointment (ya, yo gurl went and got herself a J-O-B)— get up early , chill with my coffee and breakfast , get dressed , get bike ready and head out into the crisp fall morning.
Smelling good , looking good, I get to the HR office — lock bike and start pulling my gloves and scarf off. I sauntered at the beige building, catching my breathe and my nostrils flare.
I keep getting a whiff of SH*T. 💩
“WTF’ and it dawns on me ….. should I check my shoes? Sure enough the beautiful Sorel boot soles are plated in Dobby’s creamy poo. 💩 Dobby, the beautiful, sliver weimaraner pooped in his own backyard and now we were fighting.
I repeatedly moan ‘fuck’, until I realize people are staring. After a failed attempt of wiping and stomping the ground, I force a smile. Choking back a scream, I run into the office . I hide in the bathroom — cleaning off my shoes looking like a complete fool. I knew I had to get it ALL off , otherwise I would have made anyone in a 20 foot radius gag, run and cry in the opposite direction.
Thank the universe my boots are waterproofed. I rapidly squirt half the soap container out and ran hot water. I use multiple paper towels and they just weren’t getting the job done. Of course getting poo on my hands in the process. I frantically scan the bathroom counter and find a pen stashed in a flower vase. Yes, I sacrificed that Air Force pen and dug out the grooves until a final rinse washed all the sh*t down the drain.
I am happy the only women who saw me WERE not the women who helped me today. Especially, the woman who simply sighed in unison with me. Needless to say I got my sh*t done.
Proud to say I have met my 30 day goals and found myself a job working for a Chili’s on Ramstein Air Base where I am currently residing with my Aunt and Uncle. It’s the first real ‘corporate’ chain I’ve worked for. Sure, Founder’s Brewing is HUGE, but the family vibe and love is unlike anything I’ve experienced.
I’m looking forward to molding my space and making new connections and hopefully not stepping in sh*t before my first shift this weekend.
