Help me find my way back to the portal.

I landed in an alternate universe, and it sucks here. I think I landed here about two years ago, but I can’t pinpoint the date.

I need to find my way back to the normal earth. In this alternate universe, where I am now, Donald Trump is the incoming president. Crazy people are going to the white house and I’m scared to leave the city but soon I’ll be scared to stay. In this universe, this guy I dated for 7 years — great guy to me, but eh………some serious anger issues…. is now working as cop. I wonder if I will ever see his face on the news. This other guy I was involved with set a house on fire with his parents inside, and he’s walking the streets just two years later. He probably makes more money than I do.

In this universe. I don’t go out much. I’m sick and it happened in an avalanche over two years, all at once. And now it’s my body, not my brain.

Well, okay, I have a brain disease, too, I forget that’s what it really is.

I’ve seen more doctors than friends in the past two years. (But, yes, I have found my soul person…) No more concerts or house shows or art exhibits where you donate money for wine. Safeway is “going out.” Okay, sometimes I make it to a place and see some people, but I sip on a soda and I don’t know how to make normal talk. Fun is relative. Not having pain in my face will suffice as fun.

In this universe, I am not the butterfly — the people-loving, social butterfly — that wants to make sure she says hello to everyone. In this universe, life has laid me flat out on the concrete too many times. I’ve been broken in too many places, and I don’t know how to fight or where the fight would begin.

When you’re not well, physically, it’s hard to feel physically safe.

This is not the same universe I was in, a year or two ago.

I need to go back to that one I was in before.

There has to be a portal hole around here, somewhere.

Can you help me find it?