First, congratulations on overcoming the odds. It is probably especially difficult in Silicon Valley, where “cultural fit” is code for “we want to work with people like us.”

I hesitate to say that being a favored candidate is all about gender or race or age or religion or orientation. I have been in work situations where physical attractiveness, shared experiences, or the ability to bond well are also telling. I have a friend who (not today so much, but a decade ago) found that being a smoker gave him shared experiences with the CEO and other managers, who he would often meet outside the back door of the building sneaking a cigarette. Yes, that still happens.

You need to be who you are, and proud of what you have accomplished. The hiring and promotion trail is a crapshoot. Some do well for reasons we can’t fathom or can’t replicate ourselves.