left foot

when i was young
i was left
a child broken and beaten
searching for a sense of self

i never found it
not yet, at least
because the ones who
promise me the most
always leave me with the least

whether it’s an absent mother
or the one who looks at me 
through glossy eyes
painted with false love

you all throw me away.

and there is no blame to cast
because once you’re scarred by a 
trauma that cut too deep
absence is what opens
those wounds back up

i don’t want to give myself
away anymore

how do i stop from hurting?
how do i make someone stay 
in a way that is healthy?

and is healthy synonymous
with not at all?

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