matter

as i stood on the bridge over the river
i thought about what it
would be like to die
i felt my toes inch towards
the edge that separates
material and nothingness

contemplating the 
matter in-between
the darkened brown waters
and myself
wondering what space
really is
if we do not inhabit it
and if existing even truly means
anything at all

am i just another bundle of molecules?
here but not present
a drop of water in the lake below me

or
maybe even just an atom

this occupation is lonely
constantly searching for affirmation
but our hands raise destitute

looking below, examining the waves
formed by the current 
a deep breath filling 
my once hollow lungs
allowing it to take me if just
for a second

gasping in air while i stared into what was below,
i realized-
there is no matter
without the particles that shape it

validation won’t come from others
it comes from the simple fact
that we are the foundation of
something much more substantial

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