A Letter — Part 2

Am I lost or just completely insane?

Read in portuguese-br/Leia em português-br

There are severall days I’ve been feeling this way, sometimes half the day, less than it but often entire of the day.

I kept asking myself severall times

Am I lost? Do I exist? Why am I here? Why do I have to suffer inside of this fulled flesh thiny body?

Looking into the mirror. Memories float over my eyes, my mind

Who am I?

I cannot and won’t recognize myself.
I sincerely don’t want to — Which would
and possibly will be the most painfull thing I would ever suffer.

Better forget at all.

How many days I kept asking to my
mind

What am I? Why am I so fucked
up? Is that really me?

No. Definitely not.
It can’t be. Better die than believe that me
and my “other self” are tangled together in the same
body, flesh, corpse, mind, soul.

I’d preffer to comit suicide.
But I just can not do it. Why?!

Am I existing or just living? Will I make it through?
Completely craven. Coward.
An useless bunch of crap wandering by no reason.

Then I asked my other self one last time

Who…What am I?