8 good practices for both mentors and mentees in an ideal mentoring relationship

A good mentoring relationship is built on trust, respect and personal rapport.

From then on the mentor equips the mentee with knowledge, guidance, network, perspective, and advice. It is up to the mentee to decide which path to take.

A mentee returns the favor by sharing the successful outcomes and bringing the rest to the mentor's attention for discussion. Being thankful here is key since the mentor is a volunteer and is devoting their time and effort in a selfless way.

Good Practices for Mentors:

1. Break the ice and build rapport.

The mentoring relationships that also have a good personal connection invite trust and openness.

2. Set expectations and ground rules

You’re not a buddy, not a parent, nor a manager. What your mentee can expect from you is knowledge, guidance, perspective, and network in a professional yet friendly atmosphere. It is up to the mentee to decide what to do with your input.

In a mentee’s moment of difficulty, you listen, understand, provide alternatives and explore.

3. Talk about mentee’s needs and goals.

Ask, understand and dig deep into the mentees needs and goals over a meeting.

4. Set a contact schedule.

A meeting once every 2 weeks or a quick check every week on the mentee’s progress and speed bumps will be helpful.

5. Listen, Ask, Offer, Advise.

When your mentee comes to you with an issue or question. It may be tempting to give the answer right away. However, this practice may leave questions in mentee’s mind about alternate routes.

Consider carefully listening and understanding the situation. Then make the mentee think by asking questions. Now is a good time to give the options or several ideas as to what they can do. The mentee can choose a route and can talk to you about it. At this point feel free to express what you’d do if you were in their shoes, and why.

Remember though, as a mentor, you should leave the choice to the mentee. You’ve provided options, discussed alternatives, expressed what you’d do and why. The choice is up to the mentee.

6. Be accountable to each other.

Since you’ve been involved with the mentee’s goals, as a result of your meetings and discussions you can assign action items for progress. Having devoted your time and effort, you can expect results from your mentee by completing the action items you set.

7. Open doors.

You have connections that your mentee can benefit from. Open them doors by making these intros.

8. Learn from your mentee.

This is an opportunity to be reminded of the fundamentals and relate to how you began your journey and be thankful. Also, understand the latest technology and social media from your mentee.

Good Practices for Mentees:

1. Develop trust and stay respectful.

It is good to break the ice and set a personal relationship within ethical boundaries. Showing your personal side will invite your mentor to share their to build a closer relationship.

2. Lead the relationship and ask for help.

It is the mentee’s job to lead the relationship, set the meeting and ASK for help or perspective from their mentor. Ask your mentor what they would do, if there are other alternatives.

3. Set realistic goals.

When you’re setting goals, be realistic and take one piece at a time. You will be matched with a mentor that will take you to the next step. You can change your goal as you progress. Once you change your goal, the program manager will see the change on the mentoring software to assign the mentor with the appropriate skillset.

4. Be prepared about what you want to get the most out of a meeting.

The last thing you want to do is to show up to a meeting without knowing what you want to get out of it. Your mentor has made time for you. Make it useful by knowing what you’re trying to achieve or what you want to discuss.

5. Be very open about your needs and challenges.

It may be hurtful or embarrassing to voice your challenges. We invite you to be brave in this situation and conquer 50% of your challenges by acknowledging them. Your mentor is there to help you out with the other 50%.

6. It is okay to challenge your mentor.

Feel free to challenge your mentor to explain to you why they offer such a perspective or advice. Without a reasoning or data, it may just be an opinion.

7. Express to your mentor that you can take constructive criticism

Mentors can be wary of criticizing. Explain to them that you are ready to hear what’s hurtful to reach your goals as long as their criticism is constructive and there is an action you can take.

8. Remember to appreciate.

Your mentor is a volunteer that is making time in their schedule to spend the effort to help you out. Be thankful, respectful and share with them the results. They’ve invested in you, they will be as happy as you are in your moment of success.

As Qooper’s mentoring experts and developers, we hope you enjoyed our selection of 8 good practices for both mentors and mentees.