Just turned 40
Not that I am complaining. I am feeling somewhat surprisingly good and calm about it. By surprisingly, I mean that I have been in an excellent mood all day.
Let me explain, I never really liked birthdays. They, as a rule, find me in horrible moods and I did have quite a few weird ones, so I try to make as little of a deal out of them as possible. After all I never really understood the need to be jolly on any occasion, just because it is THAT occasion. So as you can imagine- I am not too fun on New Year-s either
But not today. I woke up in the best of humor in ages- and it has kept me all day long…
Somewhere along the way, someone asked me ,what can I say I have learned by surviving the past 4 decades…Thought about it for a second, shrugged and avoided the answer. At the time I did not have a proper answer for her question …
I could have told her that I feel like I have actually just started figuring things out. And that even the few things I do now are are not definite truths .. more like general rules- of the kind that never really help anyone, least the one who knows them.
like the fact that no matter what you think/want prepare for in your late teens and 20-s…. by the time you reach 40 your life will be absolutely nothing like you thought it will.
that, since you survived 27, 32/33 & you are where you are, you will most likely never become a rock star, win a Nobel in anything, conquer the world, be chosen by God or find an ultimate truth…. well, the last part isn't true- along the way you do come to realize that there is no such thing ….
… that older does not equal wiser
…that your father was right…
…And… That by the time that 40-th Birthday is over you might be tempted to share that above mentioned wisdom you do not have
BTW- I have to confess that although I am way off from where I though I will be by now … If I look around me and then hold my gaze to the left, on the woman smiling by my side I have to admit I am one very lucky SOB and that I am glad I am here.