Putin’s First Time?

By Sergei O. Stravinska

I am the Satanic security expert, loving boyfriend, soft-handed botanist, written about in the novella Pirate in the Closet, but read my interview of Vlad below about what first time and U.S. “policy” in Syria:

So I sit down with my friend — the one and perhaps not really Vladimir Putin — in the living room of his dacha, or country house, outside of Moscow to interview him about his first time, which may be not happen yet.

But what the fuck does Sergei know?

While I am from the Siberia, I do much traveling for the business and I knowing him since his days in the St. Petersburg. We have been in the many fights — sometimes we beat each other, sometimes we beat others. But, in the end, we always drink the vodka and laugh in the sauna while we eat the caviar pizza. So he is like the, how you say in English, the co-pilot in Disneyland Space Mountain to me.

SS: You are looking old Vlad for your 63 years, da?

“Da” is sounds like “dah” and means “yes” in the Russian

VP: Nyet, cause I not using the expensive shitty French cream you giving me when we got to the Baltic that one summer, remember?

“Nyet” means no in Russian.

SS: Ah, dah, the coconut vodka cream with hemp oil?

VP: Da, this is not even good enough for Sputnik.

Sputnik is his white poodle, who just looking at us, waiting for his bowl of vodka.

SS: Well, you are looking good and fit, no man boobs, cause I get scared sometimes I getting them, so I swimming much, and I see you have the discipline with your body, you do the pull-ups while you watching House of Cards?

He does the smile.

VP: We don’t need to make the propaganda show about D.C. corruption, cause Hollywood does the dirt work for us, at no cost, nyet?

SS: Da, exactly. Which brings me to this horrible violence in Syria

VP: Another American mess, like Iraq.

SS: You try to clean up?

Da, read more of my interview here, and read about why I provide security services to Russian Federation and other states in Pirate in the Closet when it comes out on Halloween!