Be the CEO of Your Life

Living in the Cause, Not the Effect

Dylan King
Jan 6 · 4 min read

How many times have you heard someone say, “I can’t.”? How many times have you said it yourself? Sometimes “can’t” is useful- when you’re setting boundaries or maintaining your values (I mean… if someone asked you to murder someone, it’d probably be a good idea to say, “I can’t.”) But what happens when you use “I can’t” to describe things you really wish you could do. Often times you use “I can’t” and give plenty of “reasonable” excuses. But in the end, they’re just that… excuses.

“I can’t [thing you want] because [excuse]”

“I can’t start a business because my parents never ran a business.” “I can’t get my job because I don’t have a degree.” “I can’t find a relationship because too many have turned sour.”

Or even worse- when people clearly know what they DO want (a challenge in and of itself) but won’t let themselves have it.

“I want to work out, but I just don’t have the time.” “I want to be an artist, but that’s not a real job.” “I want to get more information, but I’m afraid to ask questions.”

But. But. But.

I’m over it. And I want to tell you:

You can do anything. You don’t have to do anything. You can be really successful in a certain industry, but if you aren’t passionate about that industry- it literally doesn’t matter. You can be successful anywhere. But what about the things you truly want? Are you avoiding working towards your goals and letting your excuses control your life?

This is called living in the effect. Letting life happen to you, and never taking ownership of your own role in your life. It happens too when we let others control our feelings. “She makes me mad.” “He said I can’t do it.” I spent a lot of time letting others tell me who I was. There used to be a person in my life telling me constantly things that just… weren’t true. But you know what happened when I let her tell me? I became that person. It wasn’t who I truly am, but if someone in power was telling me this constantly, she must be right, right? Here’s the truth: only you know you, and you have total and complete power over what happens.

Will unexpected things happen? Yes. Will you get your way every single time? No. Just yesterday, I decided to try an avenue to help expand my business. Guess what? It didn’t pan out. I had a whole vision of my husband coming home from work, and me telling him (with a beaming smile) about the huge accomplishment I had had today. And it didn’t pan out. Instead, I didn’t even tell him that I had tried.

Instead of living in the effect, I’m choosing to live in the cause.

This wall came up. That’s true. But God (or the Universe- whatever you believe) is working for me in ways I can’t even see. There’s an episode of Futurama where Bender meets an entity that may or may not be God (collided with a robot lol). The entity says, “If you’re doing it right, no one will be sure you did anything at all.” Whatever you’re having issues seeing right now, there are other resources you have that you may not have discovered right now.

When I first left my job, I applied for a few- even had interviews. I was crushed when I didn’t get the jobs. But if I had gotten those jobs, I wouldn’t be here, sharing my story with you, working to change lives through my coaching business.

You are the CEO of your life. You can be the type of CEO who self sabotages, lets unqualified people steer the company, and thinks small. Or you can be the type of CEO who innovates, dreams, and persists even when things are difficult.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking something isn’t possible, know that living in the effect isn’t serving you. Decide to live in the cause. Decide to take charge. Decide to live your dreams.


Dylan King

Written by

Passion. Perseverance. Growth. Goals. Grit. www.queenofgrit.com

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