Emergence of a No Excuses Woman
Journal 001: What am I afraid of?
Last year, I participated in the #noexcuses challenge with Think and Grow Chick. As part of the challenge, I wrote down a list of delimiting beliefs. Fears that were holding me back that I no longer had room for. At the time, I was unhappy, unhealthy, and putting everything I had into growing Queens Brunch + building a profitable business with no clear idea of the future. My list of fears seemed long, but, honest. A year later, I overcame a lot of these challenges but my uneasiness has multiplied. I am in a new world, learning at a rapid pace, and am completely responsible for all my actions. After completing 10X by Grant Cardone, I am appreciative this. A new set of problems.
What was I afraid of? A preview (Written November 28, 2016)
- I will be broke if I quit my job.
- I can’t afford to buy a home.
- I will always live significantly below my means and be uncomfortable. *At the time I lived on the south side of Chicago in my mother’s basement with a seemingly cushy corporate job saving to invest in my business*
- I am not saving enough money. *I wasn’t, but I survived*
- I don’t look pretty with my natural hair.
- I won’t find love.
- I will be viewed as a sell out cause I left the hood. *Survivors remorse for sure*
- Of sharing my success at any level because people won’t like/love me anymore.
- I will be viewed as not good enough if people know I’m from the hood. *get this money in my real voice, as my real self, #nocodeswitching.*
- No one supports me. *Above all, I had to learn to support myself*
- I can’t tell my truth. *Hi, welcome to my truth*
- My faith is not strong enough to take a leap (leap = calculated risks).
- I can’t hold my own in the RFP/RFQ process.
- I cannot sell my products and services for a fair price.
- I will be perceived as young and inexperienced.
- I am not ready.
- Since I am not a technology company, I can’t use/ find the right resources (i.e. pitch competitions, accelerators, etc).
- I don’t have time.
- I travel for work.
- I will always be at *insert cushy corporate job*.
- I am too different.
- I am not smart enough.
The crazy thing about this list, is that a year later, I left that company, got off the road, did not go broke, increased the price for my services/products, and doubled revenue in my business (replacing my salary +). I am in a position where all my peers are 20+ years my senior and we get along great. I learn something new everyday and I’m happy as hell. My fears are there, but different.
I’m nervous. My vision is 10X bigger than it used to be (thanks to Grant Cardone). So big, that I think I may be crazy for imagining a life this big. I have a whole new set of delimiting beliefs.
What am I afraid of now? A preview (Written Jan 7, 2018)
- I will have everything I ever wanted and I won’t be able to handle it.
- I will lose my clients if they know I want to sell more work to them.
- I can’t scale my company.
- If I scale my company, I won’t be able to find talent to build a firm vs. myself as an independent contractor.
- I can’t share my story/expertise/life on social media because…. (my house isn’t perfect, my hair is nappy, my clothes don’t match).
- I will lose the ones I love because I am so laser focused on my goals.
- I will lose it all.
- I can’t set the boundaries I need to grow.
- I won’t have the flexibility to start a family anytime soon.
- I will start a family and become a victim of the pay/ wealth gap.
- My business will not be significant enough for a successful acquisition/exit.
- It is wrong of me to focus Queens Brunch(my passion and hobby) efforts on just women.
- It’s worse to focus on brown girls.
This list goes on and on. The only thing I can do is to stay honest and keep moving forward with energy and passion. I overcame a good portion of my fears last year and will attack them again this year. I even go live talking about everything from the world of #agile to#womeninbusiness with mismatch clothing and frizzy hair. Check it out @thequeensbrunch.