Break, Break Down
Journal 003: How do I handle my mistakes?
During an ideal week, I schedule a breakdown. This is as near to perfection as my best self can measure. I’ve been doing it for at least 10 years. This is no small ordeal. There is comfy clothing. There are tears. There is wine (except during dry January). It’s just me and me coming to terms with whatever I am feeling. In college, it was on Thursday evenings. I cried during every episode of #GreysAnatomy.
During a hectic week, I forget to make time for my breakdown. There have been many hectic weeks lately. Prior to this weekend, I haven’t experienced the relief that comes with letting myself go in months. This weekend, I put my foot down. It was time for my weekly breakdown.
On Friday evening, I took it back to the basics. I cuddled up with 2 recent episodes of Grey’s, gave my highest gratitude to shonda rhimes, and let myself get lost in Jackson’s emerging love triangle. Thankfully, there were tears. The good kind. The ones that you save for private me moments.
These days, this time that I’ve carved out for myself is just one part of my self-defined “Sabbath”. Right after my scheduled breakdown, I try this thing called rest followed by a little gratitude. And at the end of 24 hours, I start to feel like myself again. In the fast paced world of being a Queen in business, plus all the other roles, there must be a little room for humanity.
“Sabbath”, by definition, is a day set aside for rest and worship. It is observed differently amongst different religions. For me, it is simply a label for the time where I unplug. In the book, What Most Successful People Do on the Weekends, Laura Vanderkam highlights the benefits on unplugging from work and technology by honoring a “sabbath.” In a lifetime, there are only a few thousand weekends, so it is important to make the most of the time.
In a week, there are so many blunders, so many mistakes, so many things to take responsibility for. Taking time to forgive myself for whatever happens and crying it out is just my way to cope. My truth is that I’m not perfect, but I am invested in recovering from my tears and getting better everyday.