The Privilege Suit

It’s time for a new superhero, one who embraces the unique challenges of the 21st century. It’s time to level the playing field. It’s time for “Privilege Person.”

“Privilege Person” is not a man or a woman or a non-binary gender-fluid human. “Privilege Person” is a barely sentient Brooks Brothers suit with an awesome power tie. The suit appears to those who need it. The suit grants Fortune 500 CEO level access to the corridors of power to whomever wears it.

The “Privilege Person” suit does not grant its powers to privileged people. The “Privilege Person” suit does not support such redundancy. The “Privilege Person” suit seeks out the disenfranchised, the abused, and the destitute. The “Privilege Person” suit grants them the rights, privileges, and access wielded by the captains of industry and masters of the universe. The “Privilege Person” suit does not guarantee outcomes, however, and it does not come with instructions. When the “Privilege Person” suit appears before you, you put it on, feel its power, and then you see what you can get away with.

The “Privilege Person” suit. Renegotiate deals in your favor. Buy off politicians and judges. Get favorable legislation passed. Privatize a natural resource. Create a tax break. Topple an uncooperative government. Force poor people to buy your useless products. Repress an ethnic group. Do away with inconvenient science. With the “Privilege Person” suit, the sky’s the limit.