I hear you, David, and understand. I have even given out the same message at times.
Douglas Milnes
22

Wow! This is incredible, it’s like you wrote an entire article just for me. It’s flattering, I guess.

there are times when I try, I knock politely and do my best to encourage the person to open the door just a little .. only to have it slammed in my face as soon as it becomes clear that I am trying to do something for men or boys

There’s this comic that I keep in the back of my mind, which I very much hope is accurate. Perhaps the nicer people merely stay silent and aren’t engaging with you:

But so many people are told so many times that the sky is pink and that motorcars fly

I’m acutely aware that there are some serious myths in our discourse, although until recently I sort of felt it was something that just happened on the political Right. Now I’m seeing it more on both sides.

“Look up the facts for yourselves. Use independent sources from the other side of the debate, and have a look for yourself to find the truth.” This is one reason why I often will only give out little teasers of information. I know that I can’t normally convince someone; they have to be willing to examine the issue for themselves and find their own truth.
…I know the truth is out there for anyone to find if only I can encourage them to break free of the shackles of indoctrination.

Hmm. For this to work, they have to actually care enough to go out and look for information themselves. But most people are not like that (especially the passive readers, the majority, that are reading what you wrote and not having a conversation with you.) Hell, I can’t get my wife to read even half the stuff I write on Medium. She has too many other things she’s rather do.

So I still say, you’ve got to make it as easy as possible for people to agree with you, by careful use of tone, emphasizing your most iron-clad arguments and, yeah, throwing a bone to women’s issues.

I mean, consider this case. She seems to be living in a world I was never a part of, as I mentioned in my response, but I wouldn’t doubt she’s telling the truth. There was something wrong with the culture she was in that prevented her from standing up for herself; I don’t understand it very well, but there’s some real problem there and it doesn’t hurt to acknowledge it.

And by putting your case in a separate article you can link to, then you can just link to that issue when you’re too tired to individually and separately argue against feminism on every single article you encounter that mentions feminism. My big issues include corruption, electoral reform, and more recently, fighting hyperpartisanship (everyday casual extremism). So every time I see someone complain about Washington or the Federal Government failing to deal with issues that are important to many people, I throw out a link to here to let them know not only why that’s the case, but what we must do about it. And every time somebody acts like Citizens United is the cause of corruption in Washington, I point them to this video from 1999. There’s no way I have time to explain this separately in every individual case.

a woman falsely accused

Of what?

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